Tavern Tan

The type of tan that only appears on your face and is the product of a lot of drinking.

That guy loves drinking so much that he has a permanent tavern tan.

by Bobar the Bobarian March 24, 2009

Parents don't have sex

The assumed truth of life where one believes their parents don't, never have, and never will have sex. Babies are all delivered by storks.

My "parents don't have sex", my mom is a virgin and i was delivered by a stork. You will never convince me otherwise.

by Jake057 May 31, 2011

That's why we can't have nice things

It's a statement a mom or dad would make, while exasperated with their child for having broken some household item. For instance, a mother buys a new small appliance for her kitchen, let's say its a stand mixer. The kids start playing with it and jam something in the blades and burn out the motor. Mom walks in and sees the mess and yells, "See! That's why we can't have nice things!"

It's a comment that is actually an irrational thing to say, but it's funny for that reason. A very "mom/dad" thing they would say in the heat of the moment.

"See! That's why we can't have nice things! Dad just bought this VCR, and you kids put a sandwich in it! Now it's broken!"

by RN-real-nerd. June 25, 2014

Thaelo

Has a huge monster cock

I fucked Thaelo last night and now I gotta spend 3 months in the hospital to stop the excessive bleeding coming out of my ass hole.

by 11thletterofthealphabet July 19, 2018

tavern wench

Bar maid

Go get me a drink tavern wench

by pookaniggs June 24, 2014

you can't have your cake and eat it too

This phrase is easier to understand if it is read as "You can't eat your cake, and have it too". Obviously once you've eaten your cake, you won't have it any more. Used for expressing the impossibility of having something both ways, if those two ways conflict.

He works so hard to pay for that fancy house of his that he never has any time to stay home and enjoy it.

Yeah, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

by bmiles October 1, 2006

Taven

the hottest guy ever, usually very good at music. can say the sexiest things at the right time. Virtually perfect

He's amazing, must be a taven

by random girl..... March 9, 2015