pretzeled

A way of saying that someone looks stoned in the midlands.

A recent study found that 7/10 potheads in Herefordshire used this while telling a friend they looked fucked in the venue.
pearl: Mate you look absolutely fucking pretzeled!

Bouncer: Hey Chaps! I overheard you talking about pretzels. No food allowed in the venue.

Rocco: No. Don't worry mate, it wasn't food.

Before they could blink they were sitting in the back of the police car looking absolutely pretzeled without any pretzels.
by Some person July 30, 2017
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Pretzel

A dry and pretentious person, a pretzel is used as a metaphor. This is because pretzel snacks have pretended to be the healthier alternative to potato chips for years, when in fact, then have more calories per gram. Pretzels are also dry and flavorless; this matches the description of a person perfectly. Furthermore, pretzels are usually salted; a salty person is usually unpleasant.
The captain of the football team is such a pretzel. He think he's king, but the only reason the talentless wretch got on the team is because the coach is his dad. And I suppose that's why he's captain, too.
by Yo Damn Face's What December 13, 2010
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pretzels

Man, You know you are an idiot when you crush them up and roll them into a joint and then smoke them to see what would happen.

Actual definiton: a food that is sold in malls, street corners, K-Mart, Wal*Mart, basically anywhere you go. Its doe that is rolled up into the shape of..whatever pretzels are shaped as and then it is fryed and raped with salt.
Clint: Dude, are you okay? you're eyes are watering.

Joe: Yeah, Its just this pretzel.

Clint:..Did she leave you agian?
by iwannabeanalcoholic March 05, 2005
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Pretzel

The pretzel was already released once in the United States. Its mission was to assassinate President George W. Bush. Unfortunately, the attempt failed.

It's a little embarrassing to admit that a snack food almost improved the world.
by RaVNzCRoFT April 02, 2007
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Pretzel

The Weapon of Mass Destruction that Dubya is so worried about.

The terrorists are going to plant them in convenient places so that we Americans eat and choke on them. That's what Bush did, right?
He choked on a pretzel. A -pretzel.-
by Calypsion September 27, 2005
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pretzels

the act of being crazy, insane, out of your right mind.
Person #1: "I am pregnant with my brother in law's child, and in return, i gave him the herp."
Person#2: "Girl, you straightup pretzels!!!
by fktspd January 26, 2011
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pretzels

by the aunts June 02, 2004
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