Paternal Velocity

Paternal Velocity

n.
The speed of sperm, semen or ejaculate as it comes out of the phallus or penis. This speed is usually 31 mph on average. Reaching terminal velocity is also known as cumming.

See also: Dad Speed

"Last night I finally reached paternal velocity, now she has a broken jaw."

"Dude I got a ticket last night for reaching Paternal Velocity in a residential"

by Obeythelaw7 May 30, 2016

paternal grandma's heart

A very cold object devoid of emotion

Your evil paternal grandma's heart is brimming with evil

by deutsch Adolf October 7, 2022

Paternal pompador

A male sperm donor who likes to call himself daddy but refuses to perform duties that come with being a father; often times having multiple children and not talking care of any of them. This particular father is a whole lot of "fluff" in terms of parenting but not much else, thus making him similar to the hairstyle pompador.

My coworker is such a paternal pompador. He's got 5 kids and I'd be shocked if he can tell you any of their names.

by MalignantOath May 21, 2016

paterne

the realest nigga alive

Sometimes I wish I was paterne but im too much of a pussclaat to be one.

by Nju12345 September 27, 2021

ghosts of your paternal aunt

interjection indicates a strong feeling of distrust towards the other party's responses or claims. Used to call bullshit on someone's claims.

Ryan: I'm not touching or moving anything on your desk.
Ebi: GHOSTS OF YOUR PATERNAL AUNT! I just saw you grab a box of matches. Put it back!

by BramT April 11, 2021

Paternal pompador

A male sperm donor who likes to call himself daddy but refuses to perform duties that come with being a father; often times having multiple children and not talking care of any of them. This particular father is a whole lot of "fluff" in terms of parenting but not much else, thus making him similar to the hairstyle pompador.

My coworker is such a paternal pompador. He's got 5 kids and I'd be shocked if he can tell you any of their names.

by MalignantOath May 21, 2016

Paternal pompador

A male sperm donor who likes to call himself daddy but refuses to perform duties that come with being a father; often times having multiple children and not talking care of any of them. This particular father is a whole lot of "fluff" in terms of parenting but not much else, thus making him similar to the hairstyle pompador.

My coworker is such a paternal pompador. He's got 5 kids and I'd be shocked if he can tell you any of their names.

by MalignantOath May 21, 2016