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newspaper

An instrument aiding the execution of the common house fly.
damnit its another fucking fly ruining my general eating experience, here pass me that newspaper...*big chase ensues* WHAP... damn straight its dead.*picks smeared remains up off cupboard door*
by Sir Slinky July 14, 2006
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sunday newspaper thick

To describe a woman who is overly thick in the right places. So thick that it would make a man fall to his knees. So thick that Buffy the Body would clap her hands in applause.
"Man you over their lookin at the monday paper, this girl over here is sunday newspaper thick"
by Full Course Meal June 11, 2006
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Historically; knowledgeable, articulate people upon whom the population relied for informative and accurate news of the day: modern; generally, people who had difficulty achieving a C+ average in their studies. —D.Mar
Journalist/Newspaper columnist of today are now characterized by extreme envy and a capacity for dissembling and dishonesty beyond description. —D.Mar
by Electric Ave April 10, 2020
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Significantly Better Class Newspaper

A Hilarious post that is a tad bit offensive, and makes fun of the teacher.
person 1: hey, did you see the Significantly Better Class Newspaper?
person 2: yeah, it was really silly.
by God_Of_Pizza June 4, 2021
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Newspaper Jockey

Bryon tried to hurdle the newspaper jockey last night when he left the bar.
by Gard May 27, 2007
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newspaper condom

The plastic bag that your newspaper is delivered in, usually in times of inclement weather.
Mary saw it was raining outside and exclaimed, "Oh fuck! My newspaper is going to be ruined." However when she retrieved her paper, she noticed that the delievery boy had wrapped it in 2 newspaper condoms, keeping the paper dry and readable!
by Wordmaster Adam April 12, 2013
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newspaper

1. A pastime for people while taking a shit.

2. To read the newspaper is a euphemism for taking a shit.
Oh crap...hold on, guys, I gotta go read the newspaper.

*toilet water splashes*
by KGtheKid December 25, 2008
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