Date Farts

The Long and Seemingly Never Ending Stream of Farts that Come After You've Dropped Off Your Date and/or Left Their House in the Morning Because You've Been Holding Them In All Night.

"Dude, after I dropped off my date last night I had Date Farts for like an hour!"

by J the Von December 9, 2006

FARTSLAM

Acronym for Fielder Allows Runner To Score Like A Moron.

An baseball play in which a defensive fielder makes an embarrassing combined mental and physical blunder that allows one or more base runners to score. A simple error alone does not qualify - there is an added layer of moronity on top of the play, where the player involved has momentarily stopped playing baseball.

Examples include arguing with an umpire while holding the ball and not paying attention to the runner, missing a catch and then angrily throwing your glove on the ground and stomping away, or catching a pop fly for the second out, but thinking that it's the third out and casually throwing the live ball into the stands.

Benny Agbayani committed a FARTSLAM when he caught a fly ball, and thinking there were three outs, gave the ball to a fan, which allowed the runner to score, and Agbayani had to ask for the ball back.

by anonymous November 13, 2020

Cigar Farts

Noun: used to define extremely bad gas one encounters after a night of drinking and smoking cigars.

John: "Man, the case of Budweiser was bad, but I shouldn't have had that second Arturo Fuente last night, I really stunk up the house with my Cigar Farts this morning."

Mike: "John had a bad case of the Cigar Farts this morning. Must have been another night of Bud Heavy and heaters on the rooftop deck last night".

by Arturo Fuente December 23, 2011

alcohol farts

After a solid day or evening of drinking, the human body expels the no longer effective ingredients in alcoholic drinks in the form of horrorendous fecal air gas which in return is the most effective weapon for Dutch ovens or underblanket farts.

Protein farts are the result of supplements for the body, alcohol farts are the result of the body rejecting toxins after serving their purpose of good buzzes and drunk stooperness.

Damn, I got my drink on last night, now I have the nasty alcohol farts. Can’t wait to burn Betty’s nose hairs with the next one!

by Charles Blue-it August 6, 2018

Farts and Prayers

Giving a non-denominational fart and prayer in tribute to a fallen subjects memory. A far more tangible take on the often and overall useless but nevertheless used 'thoughts and prayers.'

Goofus: Dawwwg! Remember that bitch Bernice from high school who's dog died in 9-11? I ran into the bitch at my daughters school bake sale and I was all of a sudden so overcome with muthafuckin' emotion from her struggle to overcome that loss that my bowels overtook my heart and I farted in front of her and then dropped to one knee and said a hail mary in remembrance to fido. Just one because dogs are not equal to people but enough to not let his loss not be in vain. I think its from all that Amy Grant i've been listening to lately B. Anyways, Farts and Prayers.

Gallant: You are such an insensitive and insufferable prick!

by Queef_Quackenbush_Jr October 17, 2020

The farts

A rapid onset of multiple and uncontrollable farts after eating an offending meal. Typically acute but can be chronic based on the frequency of consumption of the offending item(s).

I ate Taco Hell and now I have a serious case of the farts.

by Aquemini June 2, 2015

gummy farts

Slang for what is often booming and extended flatulence precipitated by consuming fiber gummies.

It’s an obvious gummy farts production, an undeniable symphony composed by my nightly healthy habit of supplementing my fiber intake with enough fiber gummies to create all of this classical gas.

by Dr Bunnygirl September 17, 2019