When you just got demoted from the big leagues and need to blow off some steam with the locals in bumfuck Iowa. The guy shoves a whole corn up the girl’s ass, lights in on fire, and immediately covers the corn with the bell of a trombone. The girl lets a massive fart rip so flames come shooting out of the trombone.
Dude, I can’t believe the Cubs fucking demoted me to AAA. I’m gonna take Sheila out to do a Des Moines Trombone tonight!
by GoCubs2916 May 16, 2018
Citizen of Des Moines, Iowa's east side of the city. From the toxic waste rail yards to the most northeastern parts of the city, an eastsider can always be identified by their sub-human persona.
Des Moines Eastsider - Examples
Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.
Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.
Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.
All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.
Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.
Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.
Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.
All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.
Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
by I found me one dead once January 28, 2009
When reciving a blumpie, after delivering the topeka destroyer, blumpee puts a finger in the ass of blumper(thus completing the hat trick where blumper has a mouthfull of cock, a nosefull of shit, a back covered in vomit and a assfull of thumb).
I believe that I am ready for the German Porn Olympics because I have pulled off a Des Moines Surprise,
by decay 66 April 09, 2003
When the man shits in an unsuspecting female’s mouth and forces her to swallow. He then sticks his dick down her throat to make her throw up. He then makes her eat the vomit containing the shit
by Mike_Litoris_69 April 04, 2019
It does one well to follow a Des Moines Surprise and a Topeka Destroyer with some nice Kansas Hard Lemonade.
by Ted Lynn Smith August 09, 2003
by Tom22222 October 22, 2007
by JeromeTheTurtle January 17, 2021