Like the hamburgular but a mascot for the bed head community who’s job it is to waste successful peoples time and energy by stealing things they don’t like purely because they over slept once now they can’t seem to stop doing it it’s too hard
Fuck that turd Burgular broke in my house with a key , ate my cat , cos it’s not lazy , then choked the chicken , and busted a nut on my bed , I found him asleep in my bed wearing my cape
by Hectic Mooslie October 8, 2023
Get the Turd burgular mug.A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.
Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.
Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.
“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.
See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.
Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.
“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.
See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!
Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.
John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.
John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
by Big Dongky October 19, 2019
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Burglarsonarceny is the crime of burglary, arson, and larceny committed in one act. First committed (and coined) by Bender Bending Rodriquez of Futurama fame.
by Stargoat August 26, 2013
Get the Burglarsonarceny mug.by thepun October 7, 2010
Get the Cunt burglar mug.One who burgles houses, or steals from other places, naked.
Sometimes done to avoid leaving evidence, but mainly just for the thrill of it.
Sometimes done to avoid leaving evidence, but mainly just for the thrill of it.
Jack the naked burglar broke into the Smith's house, stole money and jewellery, had a wank and left.
by Witch of the West October 5, 2007
Get the Naked burglar mug.by brandon + darren September 17, 2003
Get the ass burglar mug.noun; the act of cumming in a girls eyes and stealing from her while she is blinded. Derived from the white band covering her eyes.
by SirBurglesworth09 March 21, 2009
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