N. The ultimate in the range of awkward items or animals. An individual intending to correctly execute an awkward beached whale should lie face down on the ground and thrash their legs whilst pressed together as an impersonation of a whale's flipper. Then while doing this, the individual should rock from side to side whilst helplessly hitting the ground directly to their side with limp arms. The awkward beached whale is most successfully executed by lying on a floor, but it can also be executed on a table or chair.
Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
Awkward beached whale should be used to best affect at a time of severe awkwardness which should be enough to break the ice of any situation.
*WARNING* AWKWARD BEACHED WHALE SHOULD NOT BE ATTAMPTED AT ANY INAPPROPRIATE AWKWARD TIMES SUCH AS IN A CHURCH OR IN A PROM DRESS OR TUXEDO. IT WILL CONSIDERABLY MAKE THE SITUATION MORE AWKWARD AND CAUSE PEOPLE TO TAKE OFFENCE !!!
1) Perfect time to do awkward beached whale.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.
(In a room where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: wow who is that crazy man ?
Person 3: "It's an awkward beached whale !"
Person 2: "haha that's hilarious"
Multiple people laugh and awkwardness stops.
2) Wrong time for an awkward beached whale.
(At a formal occassion where the atmosphere is unbearably awkward)
Person 1: "wow this is so awkward"
(does an awkward beached whale as directed above)
Person 2: (silence)
Person 3: (silence)
Person 2: (silence)
Awkwardness increases and people ignore the individual who feels even more awkward for increasing the awkwardness and for messing up his/her formal clothes.
by Awkwardkingofbeachedwhales June 14, 2012
Get the Awkward Beached Whale mug.A single piece of fecal matter, excreted from the bowels, that has sufficient size and tensile strength to poke out of the toilet water on two sides. In other words, it beaches on two sides of the toilet. Usually worth a picture or bringing a friend to see before tarnishing with toilet paper, etc.
by beacherman July 30, 2009
Get the Double Beacher mug.Generally two pieces of shit that beach out of the toilet water four times. An example is two seperate shit pieces that cross and have four seperate ends that beach from the toilet water. Another possibility is a Triple Beacher or Double Beacher. All of these are usually followed by a distinctive amount of butt pain.
by beacherman July 30, 2009
Get the Quadruple Beacher mug.When someone who is usually terrible with the ladies gets drunk and inexplicably starts pulling hot girls, they are Miami Beached.
"Is that girl still here?"
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
"Yeah."
"How the fuck did you pull her?"
"Don't know."
"You in shock or something?"
"Most likely."
"Shit, you were well Miami Beached."
"Indubitably."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
Get the Miami Beached mug.Basically to be screwed. Originates from a YouTube video parodying the NZ accent. Made by a pair of Australians, the video shows a cartoon whale 'beached'. He says to a passing bird 'Oh no man, I'm beached as!'
by cabbagetreekiwi February 24, 2009
Get the beached as mug.A heterosexual Belgian sex act that involves a perpetually hysterical, rubenesque woman and a prototypical American bro who routinely pumps 20 CCs of mediocrity to fuel her unsatisfied disposition.
by RyanBrown September 30, 2018
Get the beachell mug.When a poop is so large that the poop is raised out of the water. Or it can be piled up out of the water, like soft serve.
by tahoe-chaz January 8, 2014
Get the Beached it mug.