Aspirin date

Someone you meet off a dating site in the hope of getting over the one you really want to be with.

A "meet date" to distract yourself from the pain of a "shituationship" you're in that isn't going anywhere.

"I'm so tired of these aspirin dates going nowhere"
"These aspirin dates aren't enough to get me over Rick".

by Madchen April 22, 2019

asspirin

A special form of acetylsalicylic acid that you ingest to help reduce aches caused by the a**holes in your life, and/or to help you to better deal with anyone who is a royal pain-in-the-a**.

I wonder if asspirin could also help relieve the smarting pains of humiliation you'd feel if you'd unwittingly made a total jacka** of yourself in public???

by QuacksO September 25, 2019

Redneck aspirin

Literally just meth

Hey joe, you got some of that redneck aspirin?

by Screaming_Seagull July 11, 2019

Balancing the aspirin

Balancing an aspirin between your legs to keep a women's legs shut.

Person 1: "Wow Cheyenne hasn't been sleeping around lately"
Person 2: "yeah she's been balancing the aspirin"

by KrlAadd2013 May 25, 2016

Sit your aspirin down

A word used by idiotic teachers who have way too much time on their hands.

Student: *Stands up* Miss can i leave to go get a dri--

Teacher: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR AND SIT YOUR ASPIRIN DOWN.

Student: ...fag

by wowtf May 18, 2010

aspiringcald

An incredibly homosexual squeaker. He makes youtube videos about roblox and gta 5, but has the voice of a kid in his early days. He has also been banned from every game he has ever played on roblox, and is more toxic than a bottle of Windex.

Who was that little shit?
Oh, that was AspiringCald.

by Ge_er November 4, 2018

Aspirin between the knees

Implies that if a woman were to suspend an aspirin between her knees, she would be unable to spread her legs without dropping the aspirin, thus, by keeping the aspirin suspended between her knees, she would be unable to engage in activities deemed sinful by crazy out-of-touch right wing nut jobs who wish to impose their religious will on the American public

Person 1:

"Hey! Did you see that Rick Santorum supporter Foster Friess on TV the other day? That nut job actually suggested that women should suspend an aspirin between the knees and use that as contraception!"

Person 2:
"Man, that guy is out of touch! I guess we can thank right wing nutters like those guys for paving the way to Obama's second term..."

by phroug2 April 15, 2012