"Absolute trash, so obviously a worldwide hit."
"That book is a cringe-worthy testament to teenage hormonal fabrication."
-- quotes from Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (the fifth book in a series truly worthy of reading) that perfectly defines Twilight.
"That book is a cringe-worthy testament to teenage hormonal fabrication."
-- quotes from Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (the fifth book in a series truly worthy of reading) that perfectly defines Twilight.
by Kalanikamori August 17, 2009
A horribly overrated book and movie series, beloved by teenyboppers, tweens and teenage girls, but hated by people who knows what a real vampire is. Vampires are not supposed to be cuddly teen idols, they are supposed to be terrifying bloodthirsty monsters.
by WPH15 August 02, 2009
A series of books written by Stephenie Meyer that revolve around a cliche girl and her obsession with a (not really) vampire and a (not really) werewolf who spend most of their time violating the vampire/werewolf rules, ie walking in sunlight, sparkling, turning into a wolf instead of a werewolf (the difference being that a werewolf is humanoid), and never wearing shirts so as to show off your 135-lb-bench-press body (jsyk, that's pathetic). The books show all the subtlety of a Larry the Cable Guy comedy routine and about as much intelligence. The legions of fangirls and moms who support this series are (sadly) poorly read and/or educated. Had they read any real literature before being brainwashed by this novel they would realize what sanctimonious tripe it is. It has contributed nothing to the English literary tradition and should receive no praise of any kind.
by Al Non June 30, 2010
A totally cliche book that wasted a million of trees and has millions of readers hooked on it because of the gorgeous character Edward even though Jasper is better than him.
1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
1) Flat Characters (main character is a complete Mary Sue); the characters have no flaws at all. Bella is clumsy but that's not exactly a character flaw.
2) No action until the very end
3) Bella has no aspirations, no goals, nothing; she wants nothing from life except for Edward. Bella seems to have no substance and no backbone. Where is her sense of self?
4) Why does she like Edward in the first place? He's beautiful? A little superficial, don't you think?
5) Bad prose, even for a first-time writer
6) A glittering vampire...
7) What does Edward see in Bella anyway?
8) No build-up between Edward and Bella. They hate each other at the beginning and then a few pages later, they are in love.
9) Did I mention Edward's beautiful, gorgeous, amber eyes yet?
10) Edward stays outside Bella's house and she finds that cute and amusing? He watches her sleep as well - does anyone else find this creepy? Since when did stalking someone become cute and adorable? Edward loves her for her smell - does she not find that a little disturbing?
11) The only one who should be applauded here is the marketing department: job well done.
by Kira Kira September 23, 2008
The biggest disgrace to the literacy of the entire human race to ever surface the earth.
JUST BURN IT.
Nuff said.
JUST BURN IT.
Nuff said.
1. RANDOM FANGIRL: OMGOMGOMG I LUV TWILIGHT TO DEATH!1!!1! EDWARD IS LEIK SO HAWT! I WANNA HAV HIS BABIES!!!!1!!11! STEPHANIE MEYER SAVED MY LIFE!!1!!!!!!111!
RATIONAL PERSON: Please go away. You need to get a life.
RATIONAL PERSON: Please go away. You need to get a life.
by lolFritters September 18, 2009
1. The time between dawn and sunrise, and sunset and dusk.
2. An idiotic book by Stephenie Meyer that has swept the globe faster than the plague. Twilight may be a "good book" if you're into all romance, cliches, and no plot until after five hundred pages.
The book has spawned a massive, rapidly-growing, rabid army of fangirls that absolutely refuse to believe that there is another book out there that is better than their "beloved Twilight." Their denial has resulted in verbal abuse, violent threats, and even beatings towards others that do not share their same interests.
The plot to Twilight... is non-existant. The "book" lists events that happen between the obnoxious, whiney, low self-esteemed "heroine" Bella and her beloved, sparkly, ripped, pale, dead, vegetarian, vampire boyfriend Edward. The first three hundred pages consists of Bella, a plain, bland, awkward teenager, ogling over the popular, but silent, and totally HAWT! Edward.
Unfortunately, Edward wants to eat her because he hates how she smells... but that doesn't stop Bella, oh no! And, wait, here's a surprise... EDWARD'S A VAMPIRE! but he's a vegetarian. "What the fuck is a vegetarian vampire?" you may be asking. It's a vampire who refuses to drink the blood of humans, and instead feeds off animals. Anne Rice anyone?
After seeing him SPARKLE in the sun (because that's REALLY why vampires can't go out in the day! :O), they fall madly in love. Then, after playing vampire baseball (this is supposedly the explanation of thunder during storms... BS), THE PLOT ARRIVES in the form of three NORMAL vampires! They want to eat Bella. Oh, no surprise there. After Edward beats the snot out of them, Bella demands that he turn her into a vampire so she wouldn't be such a weakling. osoz too late.
2. An idiotic book by Stephenie Meyer that has swept the globe faster than the plague. Twilight may be a "good book" if you're into all romance, cliches, and no plot until after five hundred pages.
The book has spawned a massive, rapidly-growing, rabid army of fangirls that absolutely refuse to believe that there is another book out there that is better than their "beloved Twilight." Their denial has resulted in verbal abuse, violent threats, and even beatings towards others that do not share their same interests.
The plot to Twilight... is non-existant. The "book" lists events that happen between the obnoxious, whiney, low self-esteemed "heroine" Bella and her beloved, sparkly, ripped, pale, dead, vegetarian, vampire boyfriend Edward. The first three hundred pages consists of Bella, a plain, bland, awkward teenager, ogling over the popular, but silent, and totally HAWT! Edward.
Unfortunately, Edward wants to eat her because he hates how she smells... but that doesn't stop Bella, oh no! And, wait, here's a surprise... EDWARD'S A VAMPIRE! but he's a vegetarian. "What the fuck is a vegetarian vampire?" you may be asking. It's a vampire who refuses to drink the blood of humans, and instead feeds off animals. Anne Rice anyone?
After seeing him SPARKLE in the sun (because that's REALLY why vampires can't go out in the day! :O), they fall madly in love. Then, after playing vampire baseball (this is supposedly the explanation of thunder during storms... BS), THE PLOT ARRIVES in the form of three NORMAL vampires! They want to eat Bella. Oh, no surprise there. After Edward beats the snot out of them, Bella demands that he turn her into a vampire so she wouldn't be such a weakling. osoz too late.
2. Twilight Fangirls in action:
EDWAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!! KYAAAAAAH~!!!!!!! I LUUUUUUV UUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
EDWAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!! KYAAAAAAH~!!!!!!! I LUUUUUUV UUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! MARRY MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
by Sekebetsu June 19, 2009
Girl 1: Hey have you seen Becky lately?
Girl 2: No, I lent her my copy of Twilight a week ago and she hasn't left her room since =/
Girl 2: No, I lent her my copy of Twilight a week ago and she hasn't left her room since =/
by GianPaolo August 21, 2011