Funeral Treatment

A Funeral Treatment is when you're driving and someone is tailgating you and you slow down to very low speed, causing a line of traffic to build behind you. This makes it look very similar to a Funeral Procession. It doesn't have to be tailgating, you can give someone the funeral treatment for any reason.

Joe: Damn, this guy is riding my ass, I keep giving him a break check and he still won't back up.

Mike: Give him a funeral treatment, then he'll back off.

Joe: Speed limit is 30, I'll give him a 10mph treatment, that should piss him off.

by Hopie Elle March 3, 2009

Carpet Treatment

Carpet Treatment is when you knock some punk, smart mouth, bastard on the ground and he lies there on the carpet until his brain restarts.

I swear to God if you don't shut your mouth you're going to end up getting the "carpet treatment".

by Sorjones March 21, 2009

Alex spoor treatment

An Alex in a vegetative state

zombified in a not cool way

When the bat made contact with the side of his head he received the full Alex spoor treatment: no more feeding himself, no more orgasms, no more complete sentances

by vogla January 24, 2013

A Warm Towel Treatment

Chillin on your back while your partner washes “deez nuts” with a warm washcloth after having sex. This is especially nice when you don’t even ask for a cleaning. Warm towel treatments were never intended to replace a shower, but somethimes they do ;)

I didn’t shower after sex... I got the warm towel treatment instead.

You don’t want to die without ever receiving a warm towel treatment. It’s a bucket list item for sure!

by Vladimir Poopin February 10, 2019

Rookie Treatment

(usually in professional sports) Being teased, poke fun at, or pranked by people more superior in rank to you.

Ex: When a veteran basketball player decides to trash a teammate rookie's storage locker just for the fun of it. The rookie can't really do anything about it. The rookie is getting the Rookie Treatment.

by TheNikko95 January 10, 2009

The Johnson Treatment

The treatment of others by former president Lyndon B. Johnson, in which he would hypothetically 'pop one's bubble' to demand their attention. The 'Treatment' was described as having 'a large St. Bernard licking your face and pawing you all over.'

Also used when decribing being 'violated' by unwanted company.

Barkley gave me The Johnson Treatment the other day, so I filed a lawsuit.

by Katy B. November 25, 2006

the miller treatment

being cock teased by a girl only to be left blue balled and told in the end by her that you are "just friends"

I met this really hot girl last night and took her home only to get the miller treatment.

by xoxocg February 25, 2008