toddler

Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. Prone to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.

"Do you think you'll have more children?" "Well, even if I survive my two toddlers, FUCK No!" (Did I just say that out loud?) "Chloe, don't repeat that at grandma's!"

by megagogy February 17, 2008

Toddlertwt

Derogatory term on Twitter that describes people who enjoy harmless interests such as children’s cartoons, certain Roblox games, and anything associated with young people.

User A: Bluey is such a good show!

User B: Toddlertwt wildin

by tomatotown April 10, 2023

Toddlerbrain-Science

The extension of extremely basic, if not primative, child-like problem solving skills into an adult decision-making environment--where making good decisions based on sound principles of reasoning REALLY fucking matters.

My mommy says that all my prayers will be answered, that I'll see grandpa and kitty-cat in heaven and that all I really need to be successful in life is faith in our divine creator.
<<Really? You're twenty-fucking-five years old. You have no job, lodging or source of legal tender. You are an adult, totally dependent on yer 'mommy' for existence... I've got an idea! Why don't you shit in one of your hands and have god shit faith in the other...see which one fills up first. Without doubt, your Toddlerbrain-Science will serve you well...

by YAWA June 16, 2018

sweeney todded

to kill in a vicious, cold-hearted, malicious way.

that motherfucker deebo owed me $10. he ain't pay me so i sweeney todded that assclown.

by assclown fucktart January 27, 2008

Todgersnaffler

A pubescent teen girl who tends to grab at male genetalia and squeeze, much in the same way that teenage boys often begin to squeeze teen girls bums as they wrestle with their hormones.

Watch out guys here comes the todgersnaffler.

by Thunderballs13 February 23, 2010

Todger Dodger

Someone who is a 100% lesbian or someone who has an extreme allergic reaction to penis (male and female).

"Did you see that women explode when she gave orall"
"look at her shaven head, army boots yep she is a Todger Dodger"

by kinder king January 4, 2010

Illinois Toddler Fondle

An illinois toddler fondle is when you are having sex with a pregnant girl while getting a handjob from the unborn child.

"I didnt know she was pregnant until I felt the good ol' Illinois Toddler Fondle"

by nolawalking February 24, 2009