An Irish Tale

There was only one bar...
A MILE LONG!
They didn't serve pints...
ONLY BUCKETS!
There was only one barmaid...
FOR EVERY MAN!
The guards came...
A BEAN GARDA!
She was wearing glasses...
AND NOTHING ELSE!
She took me to jail..

IT WAS FULL OF HOOKERS!
They cost a fiver...
I HAD A TENNER!
There was a plant...
A HASH PLANT!

It had no leaves...
I SMOKED THEM ALL!

AND that's the end...
TILL NEXT WEEK!

An Irish Tale...a true virtue of a Friday night in Ireland.

by Wreckroller August 30, 2017

Riveting tale, chap.

The verbose and formal variant of the sarcastic phrase "cool story bro".

Person A: ...And so in conclusion, we are able to see that the event that transpired was nothing more than a cleverly disguised ruse and in no way factual as was originally perceived.

Person B: Riveting tale, chap.

by Wienie Kong October 1, 2009

The Prince's Tale

A chapter in the Harry Potter books, you'll have to read all the books to understand it though. Possibly one of the saddest stories ever. SPOILER ALERT: about a poor boy called Severus Snape who fell in love with a girl called Lily Evans when they were eleven years old. They went to Hogwarts and Lily was put in Gryffindor with Snape's yet-to-be lifelong rival, James Potter, while Snape was put in Slytherin. Snape still remained friends with Lily but James was jealous because he also loved Lily. James and his friends bullied Snape until one day Lily tried to make him stop. Snape called her a mudblood out of embarrassment and that ended their friendship. Lily eventually was married to James and they had a son who was the famous Harry Potter, the boy who lived, but then she died and Snape had to kind of keep an eye on Harry when he was at school which was bad for him because he seemed so much like James who he hated with all his life, but then he also seemed so much like Lily who he loved for all his life. That's pretty much a shortened version of it. So, it's a very sad story and it's much more romantic than that Bella Swan girl and the sparkly guy (I can tell so many twilight fans gonna dislike this). Oh well!

Example? No, he's got nothing to do with Harry Potter, he's the guy that sings "You changed the way you kissed me"...

What's he got to do with this?
This is about the prince's tale...

by JimBobBillyBob September 21, 2011

Tattle Tale

A small child (or sometimes adult) that tells when others are "doing something bad", much to the annoyance of everyone around them. Often earn themselves unflattering titles.

Susie: Teacher! Bobby's out of his seat!
Bobby: Ugh, Susie is such a tattle tale.

by awesomenessembodied May 20, 2013

Fairy tale conundrum

Basically this is where the female saves the man, its opposite. Women=strong, men=weak

Lions are a great example of fairy tale conundrum, the female does everything.

by Sarah, Will, and Sean February 21, 2008

fairy tale divorce

A fairy tale divorce is something that a man and woman both might hear about from their friends, and to each the term has a fundamentally different connotation. To a male, a fairy tale divorce implies an escape from a marriage with only minor fiscal, physical, and emotional losses. To a female, a fairy tale divorce means that ex-hubbie decided that a good divorce lawyer was a luxury he could not afford.

Charlie : So Rich are how did it work out with the lawyers?

Richard : She got the house, but I got the car and the camp.

Charlie : You know you got off pretty lucky on this one.

Richard : Yeah, I can't deny it fuckin' fairy tale divorce as far as I'm concerned.

Charlie : She let you off pretty easy for all that screwing around.

Richard : Yep, stupid and big tits that's what I married her for. Hopefully, she finds a nice rich dude who enjoys watching desparate housewives and listening to her talk about the joys of teaching 3rd grade.

by Darker August 10, 2010

split tale

split tale- a man who goes both ways. bisexual. "catcher and pitcher."

Billy.......Watch out changing in the locker room in front

Jason, he is a split tale.

by fuckthathotass69 October 18, 2017