A middle-upper class female who is 30-50 years old and constantly getting massages and other shit to try to look younger and sexier so their corporate husband stops screwing his secretary. Always , and i cant stress this more ALWAYS seen driving a huge-ass SVU in which a mile of gas is equal to a fuckin' flight trip from Washington D.C to Australia, usually responsible for accidents and wars over oil such as the Iraq War.Seen driving with a huge-mega-fuck size cup of coffee and blaberring publicly on her new phone and sliding in anew kidz bop 98887 cd for her kids to listen while driving them to choir and some shit like that . These abominations are responsible for ESRB, FCC, kidz bop and the Smile of a Child Network. Usually Christian and 99.9% Catholic, always bitchin' that catholism is the best religon to other Christians such as Baptists and Orthodox. Their world revoles around their kids usually named "Britney" or "Biff"- perfect little angels.The kids are usually forced to watch the Smile of a Child network, listen to Radio Disney.Always overprotected and usually never heard of the word "internet" and never watched fox because of their damn v-chip that their stupid-ass soccer mom was trying to figure out for 2 years. The kids grow up either to continue the horrid cycle or to become hardcore atheists and heroin junkies.
Example1
Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.
Example2
Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-
Dude1:Ya, im baptist dude.
Dude2:Ya, well thats fine with me
SOCCERMOM: WELL JESUS WAS CATHOLIC.
Dude1:No , he was christian dumb bitch.
Example2
Dude1: Wow , the new DeathShitMetal CD is out
Dude2:HOLY CRAP! only 9.99!
Dude1:Im'ma buy this shit now
SOCCERMOM: Excuse, what did you say young man?
-both guys have soundproof headphones on-
-soccer mom rips headphones off and says-
SOCCERMOM: IM TELLING YOUR MOTHERS , LISTEN TO SOMETHING GOOD LIKE CELINE DION
Dude1:No way, that bitch makes my ears bleed.
-soccermom covers kids ears-
Soccermom:How dare you say those things around my kids!
-guys pull out AK-47s and wipe out the whole soccer mom population-
by awsomeo2000 February 18, 2009
Annoying middle-upper class lady. Picks up here kids at school every day with an SUV or minivan to lug them off to some kind of sports practice. Commonly uses any combination of the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kid learning games websites for 45 minutes every day. If someone says "a bad word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. Her vehicle usually has a a football sticker or bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little retard of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to kid's music, old music or Christian music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her "angels" who still sit in a carseat at age 10. Her husband is her source of income.
Was in the grocery, picking up a copy of CS:GO and a dumb soccer mom comes by and yells at me for buying violent games, and proceeds to the topic of terrorism. I say "fuck off" and she then shouts "DON'T USE THAT LANGUAGE NEAR MY SON!" and proceeds to cover his ears. I check out and go home.
by Potatoforpresitend2025 October 18, 2016
Drives a van, wears sandals, blonde hair and has a kid that wears neon clothing. His name’s Brody. Only talks about Brody’s successes. Brody probably fucking sucks at soccer.
by Sigismund_Dikjstra June 17, 2018
by Buckwheatismycatsname July 05, 2018
Usually, a white 35-40 year old women named Karen or Clare. The soccer mom will do anything for her kids, except give them freedom of course. She controls their friends, music, TV and games. Their little bitch kids (sorry, little angles) are always super Christian and are a mindless drone, like their father. The relationship between the mother and son only last 17 years, as the mom will come in and find her son nailing 2 girls. At this point, the mom is completely unsure as to how to react as they have only had sex twice. The relationship between the daughter and mother will last longer. It usually makes it another year before the mom walkes in and finds the daughter smoking crack or getting nailed by John who playes football. The soccer mom's life cycle is now over as her sole purpose has left her.
Man: *playing a song with the word "crap" in it"
Soccer mom: HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH VILE MUSIC- rants for 10 more minutes
Man: mkay who gives a fuck *turns up the music*
Soccer mom: HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH VILE MUSIC- rants for 10 more minutes
Man: mkay who gives a fuck *turns up the music*
by A Salty Carrot May 06, 2019
Overgrown little girls who let emotion run their lives and are the sole justification for repealing the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution.
Thanks to soccer moms, we got eight years of bill fucking clinton and probably another 10 years of constant threats to our country.
by dammit janet July 03, 2003
A middle aged woman with a child the woman has to have everything perfect and goes crazy if someone comes at her child
by Annaleighrr123 December 20, 2018