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DIRTY LIFEGUARD

To 69 - guy on top with his balls in the girl's mouth - and with one movement, the guy sits up and shit-streaks the girls' nose resembling a lifeguard with sunscreen on his nose.
"No, I'm not kidding, Becky! He pulled his coin-purse out of my mouth and just when I thought he was gonna nut down my throat, he gave me a fucking Dirty Lifeguard! And he's just laughing at me yelling "SHART! SHART!"
by 9078675309 October 15, 2008
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The Lifeguard

A new show on YouTube especially naming two main characters named Alex Sniper and Steven Barrington.
Over a rainbow, a Mad Tea Party, Cutting up some Sushi, and Walking to Germany. The Lifeguard
by Alex Sniper June 25, 2010
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Retard Lifeguard

The friend who cockblocks you purposefully in order to make sure losers don't waste your time.
Some girl: "Oh my God, did you see that douche trying to talk to Jill?"
Jill's retard lifeguard: "Yeah, when she went to the bathroom, I told him she was pregnant."
by thatgirltrippy September 23, 2013
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Cornish Lifeguard

Sexual Position in which, the female lays down, face first, on the shore with both hands by her side. Her lower back should be arched, at this point, the male who plays the role of the Cornish lifeguard, (who is just finishing his pasty), is thrusting his fallace in her anus. The added bonus is that the tide allows the female to freely and lifelessly sway back and forth in the cooling cornish tide.
First Guy: So how did the date with Mandy go?
Second Guy: Couldn't have been better, we did the Cornish Lifeguard. - All day.
by The Cornish Lifeguard. September 29, 2010
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Angry Lifeguard

The act of getting fellatio in a pool, and after reaching climax drowning your girlfriend. You then call for the lifeguard to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation, and eventually, she will cough up the ejaculate into the lifeguard's mouth. He will then be pretty angry.
Jim: Yo dude! You see that lifeguard puking up semen!

Sean: Yeah man, he must have gotten the old angry lifeguard.
by theallknowingnostradamus March 14, 2011
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The Lifeguard

When you nut on your partner's nose and leave there while you walk the beach
He just gave her The Lifeguard behind that beach umbrella
by C KWC July 17, 2021
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Philadelphia Lifeguard

(n) someone who probably isn't qualified to do the job and only got it because no one else would do it.
Person 1. "This schmuck doesn't know what he's doing."
Person 2. "He must be a Philadelphia Lifeguard"
by tacobodyparts February 9, 2023
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