Jesus Titty Fucking Christ

An expression of shock, fear or just plain surprise. Originating from the movie Team America.

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ!, don't scare me like that!

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ by Polltang January 30, 2015

Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ

1. Possibly the most extreme, blasphomous term to use when one is surprised and/or outraged in the english language.
2. Used as a term to say something random but incomprehensible for a few seconds to the person the term is directed to.

Situation 1:

Somone busts into a room with an AK-47 and shoots the person right next to you.

Your response: Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ!

Situation 2:

Johnny: Sooooo...
Mike: hmm....
Chris: yeah...
Dalton: JESUS FUCKING MARY DOGGYSYLE CHRIST!
Johnny: wtf happened?
Mike: oh my stars
Chris: lollerpops

Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ by MrDinkleberry November 21, 2005

Jesus-Titty-Ass-Mother-Fucking-Christ 

A statement similar to Jesus-Fucking-Christ that is often used in a situation of utter disbelief, shock or frustration. It is arguably blasphemy as well. Can be announced slowly and clearly to express disgust and hopelessness, or loud and fast to alert someone of an imminent disaster that will most likely end in catastrophe.
Also might be a sign of Tourette syndrome.

Jesus-Titty-Ass-Mother-Fucking-Christ! I almost died!

Jesus-Titty-Ass-Mother-Fucking-Christ by RebelJosh89 December 17, 2020

Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ 

(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.

"Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ Batman!" Robin exclaimed in exalting joy. "I believe the phrase is 'Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ,' and there's no reason for you to be yelling random expletives in the batcave--you remember what I said about using the Lord's name in vain" Batman wryly replied, a small smirk slowly sliding up his weathered cheeks. "Oh please, Batman," Robin replied, "that's so vulgar of you--we both know that 'titty' is such a silly word. And besides, what purpose is there in having sex with two lumps of fat? Shouldn't we just be honest about it? It's absurd." Robin stated very matter-of-factly. "Alright," Batman replied, "just don't come crying to me with your tightpants pulled clear up your ass when you go asking some girl if you can touch her lumps of fat."

Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ by Jesus Tits December 12, 2008

jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch 

a term used to describe something shocking, or so dumfounded and stupid.

Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!

specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.

Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!

jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 15, 2017

Jesus Titty Fucking Chris 

something you yell out when something annoying, stupid happens.

Person 1: its my birthday today everyone is coming except you.
Person 2: why not?
Person 1:because i hate you
Person 2:... what did i do to you JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST

Jesus Titty Fucking Chris by person13579 February 10, 2009

jesusfuckingchrist 

A statement of utter disbelief expressed when one finds themselves in the worst case scenario. Can be announced slowly and clearly to express disgust and hopelessness, or loud and fast to alert someone of an imminent disaster that will most likely end in catastrophe.

When Ted realized the car was running out of gas, he pulled to the side of the road and got out of the car. He muttered "JesusFuckingChrist" when he saw that he just drove over nails and now had two flat tires.

Just before the fireball, Ted screamed "JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST!" as he saw Fred trying to light a cigarette while pumping gas.

jesusfuckingchrist by rockythecat December 5, 2009