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Humpty Dumpty

when you are sleeping at someone's house and you are really uncomfortable so you escape before they wake up.
I didnt want to say goodbye to her in the morning so I humpty dumpty-ed out of the house
by theweeeone August 19, 2010
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Humpty Dumpty

A sex move; used when you are holding the female in the air while banging her. Just before you are about to cum, you drop the girl on the floor and jizz all over her. You then leave the scene.
Mark: Did you bang that chick I saw you with last night?

Nick: Yeah, but I saw no future in the relationship, so I gave her a Humpty Dumpty and left.
by CompSci2 October 12, 2010
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Humpty Dumpty

a person who re-defines words to suit himself, rather than using words the way the dictionary defines them.

From Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass":

`When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'
Person 1: I'm hungry.

Person 2: You don't know the meaning of "hungry" till you've been starving like the hordes in the third world.

Person 3: Bullshit! Look it up in the dictionary, Humpty Dumpty!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2010
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Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012
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Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and spatters cum and blood everywhere.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
by Blackflys October 15, 2017
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Humpty Dumpty

A fat round and smooth male who has no signs of hair on his body whatsoever. He only eats free ranged eggs because he’s a free egg, and has sex with starving women on a regular basis that weigh between 75-100 pounds, and when he cums he suddenly puts all of his weight on top of the woman and splatters cum and blood everywhere.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
by Blackflys October 14, 2017
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Humpty Dumpty

Name given to someone who does a bad job of offers poor quality of goods or services and is generally incompetent at what they claim to be good at and often make simple or stupid or way below novice level mistakes and usually does not care about it either. (N.B. this is the British meaning as opposed to the American one of Humping a girl then Dumping her)
That 'plasterer' who plastered my wall was a right Humpty Dumpty he plastered over all the electrical outlets!!!
by creality March 5, 2020
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