Is probably into whimsically patterned socks and frat vests. Thinks he is still the high
school quarterback even though he graduated 10 years ago and doesn't really work out anymore. Is really attractive, but also socially
awkward in a very specific, almost intentional way. Makes strange eye contact when he is hitting on you where he almost looks like he'
s going to cry. Is obsessed with his dog, which has a completely human name, and buys it sweaters and shit. The dog is badly behaved and reminds you of him. Will text you the
night after a hookup and thank you for coming over, but then not text you again for two months because he forgot or got busy. Is probably a lawyer. Has a really dirty
car. Wants to quit smoking, but keeps coming up with excuses. Is never going to quit smoking. Likely a Capricorn. Says "wow" way too much. Texts you nonsense compulsively while you are both at
work. You have to twist his arm to get him to take you on a date. Makes absolutely everything sexual. Everything. Absolutely loves strippers and is not ashamed of it. Is politically
liberal, but looks really
conservative. Generally emotionally closed off and materialistic. But you still find him really charming and totally resent yourself for it.