Slap that shit on like Flex Tape

To like something so much that you use or eat it all the time.

"Yea man I love strawberries so much I slap that shit on like flex tape."

by Logan Paul's Homosexual Uncle November 26, 2018

Flex Tape

flex tape is basically the only thing able to keep your ass from tearing during those hot, sweaty nights that you decided that getting butt fucked by Thanos was a good idea. And don’t get me wrong, Thanos will make passionate love to you and will do it well, but not even his gauntlet can stop you from almost getting split into to by his massive purple cock. Only flex tape can.

person 1: my marriage is falling apart. my kids have aids. i’m being evicted in 34 minutes. please god, I can’t do this alone. help. me.

god: sorry bro, i’ve got my hands tied. looks like you’re just—

*an explosion destroys the side of the church. a figure walks through the smoke. it’s phil swift*

phil swift: Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!

by depressed as actual f u c k February 22, 2019

Flex tape

This thing can literally fix anything! It could have probably stopped the Titanic from sinking, too bad Alan Swift wasn't alive.. unless 🤔

Person 1: Dude I got some flex tape and it can fix anything!
Person 2: No way! Can it fix my life?
Person 1: I'm afraid not...
Person 2: Dang it.

by Apersonthathasnothingbettertod April 12, 2020

Flex Tape

A weapon used to gag your enemy or strangle the by wrapping it around their neck.

I sawed this boat In half! Flex tape is keto

by NavyGarlic December 21, 2019

Flex tape

A special tape used to cover a males dick tip while he is cuming

STACEY! GRAB THE FLEX TAPE IM CUMING

by Potatoepatches August 26, 2019

Flex tape

The product of one god, Phil swift himself
He has rained down on us the perfect bondage for leaks
The ultimate repair for literal anything

He saws a boat in half and fixes it with only one of his great marks left flex tape

“To show you the power of flex tape I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only flex tape!”-the god himself

by MoLeStMaN December 5, 2018

Flex tape

A tape used to tie up the kids in my basement.

I mean...

If your wife is cheating on you use flex tape.
You wanna stab a goat use flex tape.
Kids haven't eatin in 7 days use flex tape.
Prostitute runs away, use, A GUN.
Gay person runs closer use A GUN.

by Hyphen_ July 5, 2020