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comportion

When you have an over whelming sense of being frustrated, angry, confused and are at the end of your rope. It is usually accompanied by a feeling of sadness or depression. There is nothing else to do but to give a big sigh and say you are "comportioned".
"I feel so comportioned today. Nothing is going right."

"You make me feel so comportioned!!!"
by Jwela Liliicrop February 12, 2010
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The Contortionist

much like doggy-style, except halfway through, the man shits into a sock and proceeds to beat the woman with the shit filled sock until orgasm is reached
"Honey! I got new socks...looks like its time for the contortionist!"
"Ok honey, maybe not in the face this time?"
by honeybadger1 August 24, 2011
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bone of contention

An erection that arises at an inopportune time (i.e., while watching women's figure skating, etc.), causing discord in the domestic circle.
John's excitement over watching Project Runway caused a bone of contention, and subsequently, a night of sleeping on the couch
by Glenn Quagmire January 7, 2006
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Boner of Contention

The situation that arises, as it were, when you have a major erection and your wife, girlfriend or boyfriend isn't into having sex with you. The offending and engorged member is referred to the boner of contention.
My wife was napping the other day and I showed up with a woody. She dick slapped me and we've been dealing with the boner of contention ever since.
by Duncan7 July 25, 2011
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cuntorsion

This act normally occurs during heterosexual intercourse performed in the "reverse cowgirl" position, but can occur in the midst of other positions. While the man's penis is inside the woman and she moves too far one way (typically towards the man's feet), causing an outstretched, uncomfortable sensation for the man.
Mike 2: Me Julie was riding me reverse cowgirl last night and gave my dick a serious case of cuntorsion the way she was movin.

Mike 1: Weird, that never seems to happen to me...
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Convorting

To shake and or tremble violently in a spastic manner.
The boy was so terrified he began convorting in the corner of his room.
by Pat Dyer September 7, 2005
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Chocolate Concoction

A.K.A. Diabetes in a bowl
A delicious desert treat invented and patented by the What's Your Beef? Food Stuffs Corp. It's ingredient's include a base of chocolate ice cream, topped with Cocoa Puffs, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate chips, and doused in chocolate milk. It is then stirred into a paste, which is then eaten.
"Oh dear god! I ate this chocolate concoction, and now I need my insulin! Quick! Oh God, I'm fading.... Someone..... grab the needle...... before its too....."
by AvocadoBeanDip July 8, 2005
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