Conservatives

People who tend to have black and white opinions on nearly every issue in the universe. Don't realize the importance of situational ethics. This is most likely the result of a fundamentalist religious upbringing.

A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderates: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.

Liberals: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).

Conservatives: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)

by Submitters of Words June 13, 2011

conservatives

biblethumpers who hate freedom and love money

Conservatives: Away with abortion, free speech, and give guns to everyone! hail god yippe ke yay texas bacon

by ELITELIBERAL January 10, 2010

conservatives

People who, under the pretext of religion and false "moral truths" perpetuate their greed and gain in a free-market system by exploiting the poor and working to extinguish as many civil liberties as possible. They also typically label pacifists and intellectuals as "freedom haters" and other ridiculous bullshit.

Conservatives are just Nazis without armbands. They wear ties instead of Swastikas but they hate Jews and blacks and homosexuals openly.

by KosmikKrazyKat February 26, 2005

conservatives

People who want to destroy america by letting the poor starve in the streets while having little bitch fits about not getting there tax cuts.

or

gun toteing rednecks

conservatives: george bush is a gun toteing redneck who is letting the poor starve and making the rich richer

makes sense why some1 would do that
i mean
its brilliant
ha
george bush is an idiot

by scottieee September 4, 2008

The Law of the Conservation of Corn

The infinite loop of people eating the corn shat out by another person. It will never break down and create an infinite sustainable loop of food.

Hey take a shit in my mouth I'm hungry and your corn from last night will fill me up. By the law of the conservation of corn my stomach will be refilled and I'll be happy!

by ogwashingmachine January 29, 2021

Conservatives

Usually meaning someone who wants to to conserve traditional policies or ideas. A conservative hogwarts teacher would probably want to keep using the sorting hat while new, more hip teachers might like to use a personality test made specifically for hogwarts students. A conservative in modern politics would probably want to outlaw gay marriage, in favor of traditional family values. Keep in mind that not all conservatives share the same opinions or ideas.

Did you hear conservatives are trying to outlaw gay marriage again?

by Starfish1818 October 14, 2020

Schultz's Law of Conservation of Ugliness

Any attempt to simplify one part of an equation causes the rest of the equation to expand such that ugliness is conserved.

The law is of course not literally true, or simplification would be impossible. It is merely an expression of frustration in those cases where simplification proves difficult when dealing with large or complex equations.

The law is named for professor Schultz (physics) of the College of DuPage.

Schultz's Law of Conservation of Ugliness strikes again!

by Benfea October 16, 2006