Shark carpet

Prickly region that was shaved a couple days ago

"Oh dang, my girlfriend hasn't shaved in a couple days and my junk got chewed up by her shark carpet."

by Tacitblu July 19, 2016

Magic Carpet Ride

Getting eaten out by a dude with a beard.

My boyfriend never shaves when he's on vacation. I hope I get a magic carpet ride!

by Siouxsie Supertramp July 9, 2021

Carpet Baby

When a baby is conceived by semen picked up off of the carpet. Often done by the "scooting method" where the male ejaculates onto the carpet and then the female scoots her vagina across the semen-covered area.

Ethan's insecurities arose upon the discovery that he himself was a carpet baby.

Oooo that boy is so fine I’d have his carpet babies!

by bobsagetlover1 August 9, 2010

carpet custard

the semi-dry gelatinous goo found on the floor by your other half's PC, usually amongst the crumpled tissues.

wtf's all that carpet custard doing there? I just cleaned this fucking floor you wanker!

by UKP August 21, 2010

Carnes Owned

A variation of ownage, chiefly of the mathematical sort, derived from the great one, the true J.C. himself, Jerry Carnes.

Let's say your test grade was a 54.
You would say:
Dude, I just got totally "Carnes Owned."

by YBB November 29, 2003

carpet snorter

Slang term for a cocaine addict who has dropped their blow onto the carpet.

I have hung out with many a carpet snorter in my day.

by Dr Bunnygirl July 6, 2020

F Carpet Bomb

Like f-bomb, this is a euphemism for saying "fuck" but with added the twist of drawing the word out in length.

Guy #1: What the fuuuuuuuuuuck?!
Guy #2: Nice f carpet bomb.

by ookami80 March 7, 2009