Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.
It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.
It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.
Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.
by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008
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A course on outdated mathematics that is not necessary when a higher level of math has been reached. Its main purpose is to amplify the beauty of Calculus, where everything is so much easier thanks to the derivative.
Pre-Calculus Student: Hey, can you help me with my pre-calculus homework?
Me: No, I'm a mathematician.
Me: No, I'm a mathematician.
by Urban Dictionary August 16, 2012
Get the pre-calculus mug.A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.
1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"
2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."
1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"
2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."
1: "Brilliant!"
2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."
1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"
2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."
1: "Brilliant!"
by Andreios April 2, 2009
Get the Calculus mug.the highest form of fuckery known to man. the reason for cracked out college students randomly combusting into a bucket of tears. the ultimate in mind fuckeration.
by jwrigh January 5, 2015
Get the calculus mug.The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"
Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"
Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"
Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"
Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."
Mother: *Facepalms*
Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"
Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"
Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."
Mother: *Facepalms*
by Tintintinny whatever February 24, 2011
Get the Calculus mug.Class offered in some high schools. Introduces pretty basic mathematical concepts compared to "advanced" math. Frequently described as "impossible," "retarded," and "useless" by many students, but occasionally enjoyed by uber-nerds who later go on to become obscenely rich and hire the aforementioned students as manservants.
Joe Cool: "AP Calculus sucks monkey balls. Let's go get wasted."
Uber-nerd: "Wow, partial differential equations are fascinating. With some minor modifications, I bet these formulas could even predict the stock market..."
Uber-nerd: "Wow, partial differential equations are fascinating. With some minor modifications, I bet these formulas could even predict the stock market..."
by The Dawg June 14, 2005
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