constipated

1- When your shit is stuck up your ass hole, hoping it will finally let out.
2- Kinda feels like giving birth out of your ass.
3- Hurts like fuck.
4- If you push too hard, your head will blow up.
5- The total opposite of diarrhea.

James- "Holy fuck! My crap is like, stuck up my ass!"
Mom- "Really? How does it feel?"
James- "Like I'm giving birth to a brick!"
Mom- "Force harder then!"
James- "But my ass is gonna like, tear or something."
Mom- "Oh well, not my problem that you are constipated."

by Hitler (yes i am female) February 11, 2009

Cuntstipated

Emotional or spiritual blockage caused by having to deal with too many cunts in 1 day!!

Fuk me, i feel so cuntstipated today....

by DnBDuBzJunky November 10, 2018

crystipated

Crystipated: a condition common among the working class...when you need to cry...you want to cry...you SHOULD be crying...but you can't. Your eyes may fill up, but tears will not fall. The pain of a regular life has killed your body's only natural outlet of sorrow. Your heart may be cold and dead. Nobody knows this but you.

When Melissa is crystipated for too long, she will lash out in a fit of rage. If she were smart like Roberta, she would watch "Terms of Endearment" or "Steel Magnolias" and have herself a good cry, thus eliminating the threat of rage.

by Jay Squirrel February 15, 2017

Romantically Constipated

Being entirely unable to engage romantically in a healthy fashion, either through the person's own fault, their own simple dislike of romantic relations, or the stupidity of their romantic choices. Most often, it is used to describe someone who leaves a relationship once things become more emotional. It can also describe someone who repeatedly engages in harmful romantic relationships, however.

You only left her because you started to feel something for her. That's what always happens with you - you're romantically constipated.

by hollyed January 3, 2011

Constipated fart

The inability to successfully produce an effortless secretion of intestinal gas through the anus.

Warning** -The deliberate forcing of said constipated fart can result in undesirable faecal matter

I didn't know if I had a constipated fart or not, so I sat on the toilet and pushed,but nothing came out; not even a wisp of air. Therefore, I pushed with even greater force until a sudden release of unpleasant gas was excreted.

by Alekatie June 25, 2010

Constipated Network

A computer network that is so congested or overloaded that data transfers at extremely slow speeds.

I can't even open facebook, we must be suffering from a constipated network.

by Just_D_in_aus August 18, 2009

Constipated Bottle

When a bottle of lotion, toothpaste, or other product that comes in a bottle, wont come out and you have to squeeze it with your hands really hard for it to come out. Usually when its down to the last drop. You have to just keep pushing and squeezing but it will come out eventually.

Guy 1: I cant get the ketchup out of this stupid bottle
Guy 2: dude give it to me *takes bottle*
Guy 1: i don't know if you can its constipated
Guy 2: *grunt* your right its a constipated bottle

by ThatsHot95 May 13, 2010