Achilles

Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.

Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?

Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!

by actualgrantaire August 22, 2015

achilles last stand

One of the greatest hard rock songs of all time, written and performed by Led Zeppelin. Crazy solos, intense riffs and 10 and a half minutes long. Comes close to Stairway to being the greatest hard rock song ever.

The Achilles Last Stand guitar tab gave me a headache.

by GUITARHERO June 11, 2006

Boner Achieved

Something you say when a girl does something sexy that gives you a boner. You usually say it in front of her face but at a volume she can't here you.

Girl: Tonight I'm going to get Tipsy, you should join me in my bed.

Boy: Boner Achieved. :)

Girl: What?

Boy: Uhhh nothing!

by sWaG WeAr April 26, 2010

achillean

The gay-men equivalent of "Sapphic". A term describing a gay man or gay relationship, usually sexual in connotation.
Comes from the Greek hero Achilles, who was well-known for having male lovers.
See Sapphic

Andrew is a pig; he says achillean love is disgusting, but "encourages" sapphic love.

by felicitousFeline December 11, 2016

Achievement alcohol

Alcohol earned through considerable effort.

Jimbo: The damn store was closed so I had to go two towns over, in the snow, without shoes, while being chased by wolves, to get these distilled beverages.

Eoin: Ooooh, Achievement alcohol. lemme try.

by Yokisaan May 18, 2010

Acheleography

A portmanteau of the terms Achele and choreography, in which Achele refers to the sexually charged relationship between two of the stars of Glee, Dianna Agron and Lea Michele. Acheleography has been defined by trained experts in the field at The L Boards as "where the arts of dancing and foreplay come together as one". This has been particularly demonstrated throughout the current Glee Live Tour, in which the official choreography of Zack Woodlee has been given it's own glavor (gay flavor) by the sexy duo.

Example 1:

"OMFG, check out Lea performing armsex on Dianna in the Bad Romance Clip! Is that part of the choreography?"

"No, are you missing a chromosome? That's Acheleography"

Example 2:

"Dude, did Lea just try to mount Dianna after getting her in a claw-like grip during Don't Stop Believing? I wonder if that's meant to happen."

"Your stupidity makes me Stop Believing in humanity. That's Achelography, you scab-eating mouth breeder."

by Achelian May 23, 2010

Achievement Hunter

A collection of gibbering voices who play video games on YouTube while plotting mischief and murder against each other, those two concepts often being synonymous. The second greatest product of alcoholism after the American Civil War and proof you can earn money playing video games. A division of Rooster Teeth, the Red vs Blue guys.

I walked past the Achievement Hunter office earlier and all I could hear is cursing broken up by a British girl squealing.

by Detective Zoidberg January 14, 2015