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Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever
"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein
by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023
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Jesus christ

Someone who is alive and almighty who forgives you for your sins someone who is very reliable . The person to look past your past and show true love .
I was at at church and pastor said that Jesus Christ is the one who died for our sins . And arouse again 3 days later, that doesn't make since . U can't die and rise again you are a zombie .. No actually if you read your bible you'll actually see that he was destined before time to do this . So much that satin put in the kings head during that time to kill all the first borns. Jesus destiny still lived on bc god may the way for Mary and Joseph to hide and be protected . Before he died they beat him so much bc they thought he was a joke saying he's the son of god. All the blood is an an expression of forgiveness for your sins that Jesus takes the punishment for. They also made him carry the cross that he died on to say in the walk with christ you'll will have to pick up your own cross and keep walking . It's only for the strong ones who can't take a beating and keep stepping forward. Not really picking up a cross just pick up your emotional burden or physical burden and keep moving.
by RomansEmpirekilledjesus March 23, 2023
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Jesus Lansus

A term that describes, when your really surprised, confused, mad or rattled?
Bernie: Hey Pev, guess what... Skelator is in front of the house!

Pev: Oh my Jesus Lansus
by Darson Bishop May 3, 2011
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Fortnite Jesus

Some one who clutches up a game of Fortnite after their teammates dead
Omg your so good you must be Fortnite Jesus
by The real pope not fake trust December 16, 2023
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Jesus

the one that does on the cross for your sins.. so that YOU could live a holy life and make it to heaven. he has given you the choice. heaven or hell. it's up to you to choose :)
Jesus is our saviour
by live for Jesus May 17, 2021
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Monkey Jesus

Mooooooooonnnnnkaaaaaay jeeeeeesssssuuuuuusssss!! 🎶

Jesus monkey Christ on a stick!” — When frightened

We made a song but forgot…
Monkey Jesus is used In English when your bored
by Clarius and Darius December 10, 2023
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jesus christ its

stands for Jesus Christ Insert Testicals in Sex sike naw.
by PedoPolice23 June 19, 2021
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