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fish jesus

idk my mom yelled at me for saying it so i figured it was on here.
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Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.
Person: Jesus Christ died for you!
by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024
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Jesus

A name of a very cute guy
Omg did you see Jesus he is so cute.
by Chulito November 22, 2021
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Jesus

A pick me boy who likes to follow around girls most commonly known for “playing for the wrong team” likes to be respectful upfront but a whore in person.
Jesus: hey guys
Girls: Help help leave me alone!
by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023
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Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.
On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"
by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024
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I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.
Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.
by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023
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Jesus Christ

honestly the coolest guy i know

these weird athiest fuckers piss me off in the definitions
by me lolita September 3, 2025
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