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Jesus Christ

A man who loved you so much that he died for you. The man you were designed to love from the beginning. He is your missing piece and the only thing that can make you feel whole again! He created an entire universe to show you how special you truly are, and even allowed you to follow him into heaven despite how horrible all of man kind treats him. Constantly using his name in vein, cursing people out, murdering without reason, lying(includes not telling the whole truth), stealing, and many more things that we don't even know are wrong. But that's why Jesus died! So that we can accept the gift he offers us (eternity with him) so that we can feel his awesome love! You may think I'm wrong and want to disprove me, and you might think you have though you haven't! Because his existence is a proven fact along with his resurrection, his love, and us being his creation.

You may have questions like "well why hasn't he came to earth"
He did and we killed him.
Or maybe you're wondering "then who created God?"
You think something without a beginning needs a beginning, but scientists say that the universe didn't begin at a point in time either. It just "was". God just "was" as well. Except he wasn't suddenly just "was" he was always "was". Believing the universe came from a spec of nothing is probably worse than believing in the existence of God when you look at everything these scientists really say.
Person: Jesus Christ died for you!
by #Faithinhim February 26, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

Fortnite Jesus

Some one who clutches up a game of Fortnite after their teammates dead
Omg your so good you must be Fortnite Jesus
by The real pope not fake trust December 16, 2023
mugGet the Fortnite Jesusmug.

Black Jesus

Holy shit look at black Jesus knees pop out of place
by Pro clubs god September 4, 2021
mugGet the Black Jesusmug.

Jesus

Has a huge cock, and have the girls madly in love with him. He never gets upset and loves to watch porn. He’s a caring loving man who needs love and affection. Who’s daddy? Jesus is.
by Chaddychat22 November 23, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

chunky jesus

If your priest is a fat fuck call him a chunky Jesus

Any fat Jesus worshippers are called chunky Jesus servants
Person 1:yo yo yo look are priest is a fat bitch

Person 2: lol it’s called a chunky Jesus Carl get your facts right
by Yummy nut February 20, 2019
mugGet the chunky jesusmug.

Monkey Jesus

Mooooooooonnnnnkaaaaaay jeeeeeesssssuuuuuusssss!! 🎶

Jesus monkey Christ on a stick!” — When frightened

We made a song but forgot…
Monkey Jesus is used In English when your bored
by Clarius and Darius December 10, 2023
mugGet the Monkey Jesusmug.

jesus it

The Sexual Act of physically nailing a partner to a bed through the hands and ankles. Extreme BDSM and extremely kinky. Not recommended for couples in love as the partner could bleed out during sex.
John: "That girl I hooked up with last night is really crazy, she wanted to Jesus it last night"
Dave: "Jesus Christ that's insane"
by onesickmotherfo April 25, 2017
mugGet the jesus itmug.

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