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jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.
That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*
by GVibez November 17, 2016
mugGet the jesus montanomug.

Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a
by urfavhater November 22, 2021
mugGet the Jesus Hernandez Cmug.

Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus's Love

A drug comprised of Acid and THC oil frozen with a piece of sheep's heart in the middle representing the sacrifice of the Lamb of God (Made in Ice Trays and crushed to be eaten).
Guy: Yo bro can I get some of that Jesus's Love?

Plug: Yeah dude it's 50 a piece you'll be tripping for weeks.
by Bac Helor June 6, 2018
mugGet the Jesus's Lovemug.

I will send you to jesus

A sentence meaning that one is going to end someone's life.
Person 1: You are a noob.
Person 2: I will send you to jesus.
by elaboratescanner04 October 8, 2023
mugGet the I will send you to jesusmug.

Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.
On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"
by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024
mugGet the Jetway Jesusmug.

Jesus spizzim

Yo dude, I tried not to cum, but Jesus spizzim happened, what do I do?
by Kachowism August 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus spizzimmug.

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