Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
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Jesus School

A school that prays a unessecary excessive amount of times a day. You spend so much money on school but it still manages to be broke
John asked his mom “ My school needs $50 from each student” mom then replies “why?” And John quickly says “wth mom it’s going broke”. Mom says “ oop that sounds like Jesus School “
by Urtletheturtle August 04, 2018
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Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
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Jesus time

The timer between A.D and B.C
It’s Jesus time.
by The garbage can 69 April 20, 2021
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Jesus time

When you declare Jesus time there is no cussing and no shenanigans .
Guy 1: That little mother fuc...
Guy 2: It’s Jesus time.
Guy 1: Ok.
by Hamburgerblobfish May 10, 2019
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jesus-legal

another way of saying you are 33 years old
It was Dans' birthday yesterday, he is now Jesus-legal
by Entity1002 March 01, 2022
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jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.
We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.
by Iureport March 27, 2024
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