armitage wanks

going for a wank in the toilet,

you were in there a long time, were you having an armitage wanks

by jaffaw July 16, 2009

utility wank

Masturbation, not initiated out of sexual arousal, but to achieve a goal, like relieving pressure or to become tired.

I couldn't sleep, so I utility wanked.

I wasn't even horny, it was just a utility wank so I could go to sleep.

by Germaggeddon January 9, 2013

Wank cannon

A person(s) who literally fires there seaman a large distance.
i.e. hitting your hair, shoulder or over your head and splatting it on every-day items.

Jack: Where did it go?
Sally: I can't find it!
Jack: Oh, its on the curtains.
Sally: Wow! You're a real wank cannon Jack.

by vValentine February 4, 2010

Sanity Wank

A sanity wank is when you get so wound up and frustrated and the only way to cure it is via masturbation, so to stop yourself going insane you have a sanity wank

Sarah is such a tease, she was winding me up all night, I had to have a sanity wank when i got home or I swear I would of gone insane

by Lostpure August 25, 2010

Eco Wank

Masterbation with the lights off.

Tim: I'm all about saving the planet, I even have Eco Wanks.
Mike: What the hell is that?!
Tim: Oh I just masterbate with the lights off.
Mike: Get away from me.

by magicalg March 14, 2010

Terror Wank

To wank under extreme horror or terror, usually under extreme, life or death circumstances as a last attempt at pleasure. Characterized by furious masturbation accompanied by screams and shouts.

Captain Bob: "Attention passengers, fasten all safety belts-we are heading for a crash landing."
Terrified passenger: "Time for a terror wank..." *Fap fap fap*

by Nickwalks October 26, 2011

wank muse

object of desire during masturbation

Dude that Juju is such a wank muse I can go for hour just thinking about her.

by TheDirtyDozen December 1, 2010