Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read is a vine reference used by nostalgic people who miss vine

"Hey could you read page 21 for the class?"
"No I can not WHADDUP I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ

by Kirbylove May 6, 2018

Teaching his goldfish how to whistle

Another nice way to say masturbation without being so obvious.

"Where's (insert any name here) at?"

"He's in the backyard teaching his goldfish how to whistle."

by Alert The Press! May 14, 2006

teach me how to spell my name

to spell your name with the movement of your hips on someone’s dick

“you should come over and teach me how to spell my name.”
“oh you wanna ride my dick

by fhrsfhtdf August 30, 2022

Teach me how to Dougie

A slang used when someone wants another to teach them how to be like themselves or someone else.

Chris: "Hey did you hear Bob just landed a great job, bought a $70,000 car and has a banging chick on his arm?"

Mark: "Damn, teach ME how to dougie!"

by krazykristy August 22, 2010

let me show you how to scratch it

a besh apedupaepedipapedupa apapesh apapupa a besh u besh obetipupesh abetubidipieded besh abebububpit besh u besh

thanos: besh apetupetupeta let me show you how to scratch it a besh apedupaepedipapedupa apapesh apapupa a besh u besh obetipupesh abetubidipieded besh abebububpit besh u besh

by Hehe I cheated March 31, 2021

Don't know how to act

When something (an environment or event) gets you so excited that you do something outrageous in reaction. Origin is possibly from the Flo Rida song of the same name.

"Look at you - first 50 degree day after winter and you aren't wearing a jacket - you don't know how to act..."

by charlesgriffingibson April 7, 2014

ik how to cut hair

SHE TRYNNA GET IN THEM DRAWLSSSS BOI U WINNING

Girl: u cute Ik how to cut hair btw😏
Boy: ok

by Thatonecrazyb May 22, 2021