Alternate

Some black hole colored man that is 10'4 and likes to do ASMR is your ear.

We need to stay inside to not alert the Alternates.

by MaybeAnonymous May 6, 2022

alternative fart

When you manage to successfully blame some other person for your flatulence.

I like going to crowded bars where it's easy to release alternative farts.

by Mike Honcho FS July 17, 2017

alternative august

The alternative timeline when Kellyanne Conway left the White House in Alternative August to take care of her children.

Promising "less drama, more mama" as she focused on her children and not the daycare where she was employed.

In a statement, Mrs Conway, 53, said she was stepping down at the end of Alternative August to focus on her children, giving them "less drama, more mama".

by No Hemingway October 5, 2020

Alternative Baby Bonding (ABB)

Having to have another person (i.e. paternal partner, family member, etc.) bond with a newborn postpartum due to maternal complications (i.e. endometritis, post part blues/depression, OB Hemorrhaging)

My baby daddy is going to have to incorporate alternative baby bonding (ABB) because I am currently unable to do so due to my postpartum complications.

by J.Luis September 19, 2019

rock alternative

Basically its what people who listen to indie name punk, emo, current rock, punk pop,or screamo without knowing the names or actual music of those genres.

False description of Rock alternative: Panic! At The Disco
Actuality: Punk

by Mermaidhipster December 13, 2013

alternize

To use a different (alternate) approach to solving a problem when the standard approach doesn't work, an approach that is less complicated than improvising.

There was no bell at the hotel front desk, so we alternized by saying "ding, ding" until the clerk came out of the back room.

by JBoftheWikipedia July 24, 2009

alternative anonymous meetings

Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.

One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.

by QuacksO July 12, 2019