Jesus is a mexican guy who almost got banned from the tomia.ly server and he also got a samsung note 8 that has a verizon rom which gives him nightmares, also Jesus Wants to Sue Verizon

He is also very gay
Jesus (the guy with the note8) hates verizon because his phone is locked
by Arandomtechguy July 13, 2022
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the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus
oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus
by anal*smear July 25, 2008
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A slang word for "are you ready to die?"
Johnny was walking slightly faster at the pool and the lifeguard said "Are you preparing to meet Jesus?"
by 69trainboi August 02, 2020
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boomarang jesus

A person you loan money to and they promise to pay you back, but you haven't seen them yet.
I loaned some money to (Insert Name) and now he/she has become a Boomarang Jesus.
by Dr. Pastor Charlie S. October 19, 2017
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jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.
After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.
by jpeg1024 April 06, 2015
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Juiced Jesus

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*
Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.
by Ulta-Thug MD. June 10, 2015
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jesus melnchor

A stupid dick sucker.bit loves a girl named a familia most of the time.and has a lot of friend,he is very kind,and is cute/fine
Jesus melnchor can suck your dick you.
K I'll ask him
by It yo girl... December 31, 2017
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