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Jesus

Reese: “Oh, you’re Jewish? Wasn’t Jesus like... king of the Jews?”
Reba: “What the-
by definitiongobrrrrrr December 16, 2020
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus spizzim

Yo dude, I tried not to cum, but Jesus spizzim happened, what do I do?
by Kachowism August 10, 2024
mugGet the Jesus spizzimmug.

Jesus

Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"

Harod "What!?"

Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."

Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*

Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."

Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨

Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"

Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"

Guard "Yeah........"

Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"

Guard "Yeah..."

Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"

Guard "I donno man..."

Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"

Guard "Damn..."

Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"

Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."

Harod 😨

Guard "Yahp..."

Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."

Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."

Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."

Guard *sigh*

Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."

Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

The Saviour of the World

Trust in Him!!
Jesus loves me this I know

For the Bible tells me so!
Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong

YEEEEES Jesus loves MEEE!
Yesssss Jesus loves me
Yes Jesus loves MEE!

The Bible tells me soo
by legoman67 October 1, 2025
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Bomb

A Bomb the Lord would Love ... Redbull and Red Wine of your choice 🍷🙏 Get your wings and get right with Christ... Cheers
Mike you want a cherrybomb?! Nah bro lets do a Jesus Bomb !!
by B k i z z l e January 15, 2022
mugGet the Jesus Bombmug.

Jesus Smuggling

Hym "Yeah, no he IS Jesus Smuggling. He do be doing that. That's funny that you actually called him out for it. Even after the fact. It's so dishonest. By defining God thay way it implicit that the people who consider it an active and sentient being that has acted upon reality on several occasions by engaging in direct dialogue with key figures thought history. And he hates ME because his sophistry doesn't work on me."
by Hym Iam December 29, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Smugglingmug.

jesus montano

a handsome man, that pulls many girls. he's very popular, and many people enjoy his company. he also tends to have a short temper but long penis.
That guy must be a Jesus Montano *heart eyes*
by GVibez November 17, 2016
mugGet the jesus montanomug.

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