semi-jesus

Some random from an IRC channel. Doesn't realise that this site was so last year :)

by Anonymous July 7, 2003

driving jesus

nickname or the act of driving so recklessly that only the Lord Jesus Christ himself can prevent permanent damage and/or death.

bob: « you heard that noise ? »
sue: « no, what was it ? »
bob: « driving jesus got in another accident on the avenue »

by gof August 20, 2024

jesus

has a big dick and obsessed w his girl

Jesus is him

by babywyd August 31, 2024

Jesus

Jesus: A misspelling of; Ye Zeus.

How do you think Plato voted?
Ye Zeus.
Oh Jesus! Better call Sparta.

by Goatacolypse September 28, 2024

Jesus loves you

A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.

I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).

-Hi, how has your day been
-Not very good
-Oh, I hope it gets better, Jesus loves you.
-Thank you

by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024

Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Gen Z Jesus

A person who embodies a modern-day figure of positivity, social justice, and guidance. Known for balancing compassion, humor, and a big personality, Gen Z Jesus inspires their community by challenging outdated norms, promoting inclusivity, and uplifting others. Often seen as a blend of influencer and modern sage, Gen Z Jesus encourages people to live authentically, tackle social issues, and seek inner growth—all while connecting through real talk and down-to-earth vibes.

She's basically the Gen Z Jesus of our friend group!

by ara_eek November 11, 2024