Jesus is a big lying bitch.
by culurful October 16, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. A attention seeking male. One might see him and say “ there that fag goes”. He is most commonly known for not excepting rejection and for playing for the “wrong team”. He loves to be respectfully to adults but hates girls unless they like him. Is a pathological liar and lies to make himself feel better.
by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023
Get the Jesusmug. Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much that he died for your sins, a painful, brutal death. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want you to have to suffer what he did. He chose YOU. He chose LOVE.
He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.
Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.
Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
by Jesuschristisking December 21, 2024
Get the Jesusmug. 
A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. A guy from the bible who people believe died for our sins. Mainly worshipped in Christianity.
Although there are some Christians who are cool with people of color and homosexuals, Homophobic and Racist people commit hate crimes in his name. Namely *cough*republicans*cough*
Although there are some Christians who are cool with people of color and homosexuals, Homophobic and Racist people commit hate crimes in his name. Namely *cough*republicans*cough*
Republican using Jesus to his benifit:
In the mighty name of Jesus I ban you from this store, and any other f** here!
Jesus says that the covid vaccine is a lie!
Homosexuality is a SIN! THE LORD JESUS SAID SO!
Normal Christian Respecting People:
Remember Jesus loves you honey.
Jesus is with you my dear.
Jesus take the wheel!
In the mighty name of Jesus I ban you from this store, and any other f** here!
Jesus says that the covid vaccine is a lie!
Homosexuality is a SIN! THE LORD JESUS SAID SO!
Normal Christian Respecting People:
Remember Jesus loves you honey.
Jesus is with you my dear.
Jesus take the wheel!
by MichaTheDirtyDefinitionCreator April 29, 2021
Get the Jesusmug.