Skip to main content

Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
mugGet the Making Jesus crymug.

Jesus Solos

He is Him. He’s stronger, faster, smarter. Bro solos all of fiction and non-fiction. He transcends that which is us. He is just that guy.
Guy: Bro Naruto no diffs Luffy.

Guy 2: But can he beat Goku?

Guy 3: The fact they all got nothing on Jesus says a lot doesn’t it?

Guy: Wdym?

Guy 3: Jesus Solos in his sleep 😴
by Roronoa Musashi December 19, 2022
mugGet the Jesus Solosmug.

Jesus

Jesus a guy who buys his “stripper” aka his cousin Gucci shoes and flies her out to Tulum on a couple getaway
Hey did you see Jesus went to tulum
by Bookie602 May 26, 2024
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Roblox Jesus

Roblox Jesus is the most supreme form of Jesus there is. There is no need for anyone to need anything in life other than Roblox Jesus
"bro, did you get your daily filling of Roblox Jesus, cuz I did."
by The Smart Guy 12345 October 23, 2020
mugGet the Roblox Jesusmug.

Jesus cat

extremely thicc cat, loves booty rubs can open drawers cabinets and doors, has an owner named heaven and can pray to them and they will answer your prayer.
DAMN THAT CATS A THICC BOIII

damn your right must be a Jesus cat
by JESUS.THE.CAT.LOVES.ME123 November 4, 2019
mugGet the Jesus catmug.

the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus
oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus
by anal*smear August 21, 2008
mugGet the the holy jesusmug.

Jesus Goodbye

When someone announces their departure from a social gathering, disappears for a while, and then unexpectedly returns, much like Jesus' resurrection.
Tom executed the ultimate Jesus goodbye at the dinner party, informing everyone he was heading home, only to reappear an hour later with a fresh round of drinks
by SausageTunnel March 31, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Goodbyemug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email