Jake

Jake is a peng ting init, he has a very long shlong and a 69 pack.
He is obviously the biggest alpha male known to man.

"Oh shit that peng unit over there must be called Jake".

by Brightonunit December 24, 2018

jake

A really well put together person. Can always rely on Jake being fly. But being fly, doesn't mean being fun. Buzzkill you may call him. Predominately staying on his phone and snaking his friends on nights out. Typical case of don't judge a book by its cover. Am I right? Where you think he is just "dropping his jacket off " he has actually gone back to bang the girl next door. Or at least try. Overall though he is a nice guy, but most nights out will end up with you realising he hasn't been there for two hours because he is tired.

Guy 1: Oh you hear Dan isn't coming out tonight?
Guy 2: OMG he is being such a Jake.

by __I$lingw&rd__Kr3w_360N0$C0P3 May 24, 2016

Jake

The ultimate douchebag. If you meet a Jake pray he stands far far away from you. Because he smells. Jakes are commonly known for being sound-cloud rappers(aka bad). He is vile and sexist and gross. BEWARE: Jakes can often make you throw up ( i mean projectile vomit). Often has fake curls.

Person 1: Ew I hate you, Jake.

Jake: Nah you think I’m cute.

Person 1: Burn in Hell, I hope it’s soon.

Jake: Fine I didn’t want to talk to you in the first place. You’re fat.

by Squeegee Beckinhime April 7, 2022

Jakes

Typically the brother of one of your best friends. Jakes are known to be a bit precious, high drama, slightly narcissistic and far too good looking for a one syllable first name. Most Jakes are found in California, with some recent sitings in upper-middle Wisconsin in the Jewish quarter.

Jakes being such a dick again!

Don't you mean Jake's being such a dick again?

Yeah, but Urban Dictionary wouldn't let me post something that specific.

by UM&UAE2021 December 5, 2019

Jake

Gay

Jake your gay and no one likes you die

by I made god my bitch November 1, 2019

Jake

A Jake is a person that is a sex machine. There is only one kind of Jake. A popular, athletic, sexy, love machine, pussy magnet. And a Jake dick is so big, it is more than likely known as a cockzilla!

Guy 1:Dude, have you seen Liz today?

Guy 2:No, why?

Guy 3:She's walking like a penguin, Jake must've gotten a hold of her!

Guy 4:Jesus Christ!

by PooperDoppers December 5, 2016

Jake

A Jake is a very cute and nice boy if you know a Jake never let him go because Jake's are perfect just the way the way he is he also has a cute loving girlfriend who is always there for him when he needs it once you catch feelings for a Jake they never leave if you cheat/abuse/spread Jake's secrets don't expect him to start trusting you straight away a Jake's smile will light up your whole day but don't try anything because he has a girlfriend/wife rose who will kill you if you even look at her man 💞

Girl 1: look at that cute boy
Rose: ikr he's mine though so

Jake:hey babe :)

by Yourxbxixch March 22, 2020