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Schrödinger's Gantt

A project plan which is loose and high level with no constraints on the client while simultaneously highly detailed and precise.
“Claire, you can’t be prescriptive with the timeframes for the client but you need a precise plan including every task with defined resources and dates”

"You mean you want Schrödinger's Gantt?"
by Talgarthe May 7, 2021
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Schrödinger's Thot

Schrödinger's Thot is a female internet celebrity that's only famous because of her looks, but also really ugly and you're totally not attracted to her. They're in a quantum superposition between hot and not.
Chatter: "xddd you think people relly care about ur opinions??? men are only here bcuz they want to f*** u"
Schrödinger's Thot: "That's nice. So you think I'm attractive?"
Chatter: "wtff no ....ur ugly as fuck no one wants u"
Schrödinger's Thot: "So people *are* here to hear my opinions..."
Chatter: "no they jus want to f*** u"
by farco_ June 3, 2021
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Schrodinger's cable theorem

The theorem that a cable will not fit into a device until observed.
Even though there are only 2 sides to a charger he had to flip over the charger 5 times before it fit because of the Schrodinger's cable theorem.
by Xeto November 9, 2021
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Schrödingers Ape

Apes are simultaneously retarded and highly-informed, resulting in Kenny having to quantum oscillate deez nuts.
All their fancy quantum physics models failed to solve the Schrödingers Ape paradox.
by TrueBananaMonkey November 19, 2021
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Schrödinger's Ape Paradox

Apes that are simultaneously retarded and highly informed.
I guess all their fancy quantum physics models failed to solve the Schrödinger's Ape paradox.

Turns out that Apes are simultaneously retarded and highly-informed, resulting in Kenny having to quantum oscillate deez nuts.
by TrueBananaMonkey November 19, 2021
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Schrödinger's Dog

A thought experiment which can be observed when a dog brings an object he wants you to throw whilst simultaneously refusing to let go of it.
Our puppy brought me a tennis ball which he wanted me to throw. But, when I tried to get it, he wouldn't let go of it.
Truly a Schrödinger's Dog-type situation.
by Chipped Coffee Mug September 8, 2021
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Schrodinger's cough

The winter cough that afflicts British folk, so called as it is both simultaneously serious enough to be nearly dying and needing antibiotics but simultaneously not bad enough to be COVID and in need of a PCR.

So called after Schrodinger's cat, a thought experiment in which a hypothetical cat may be considered simultaneously both alive and dead as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.
"Remember that fella who wanted antibiotics the other day? Schrodinger's cough, couldn't be COVID so couldn't possibly go for a PCR"
by John Whitaker October 13, 2021
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