The Hartman Defense

The Hartman Defense is, in general, when a person simply proclaims they have no knowledge of anything at all, therefore could not be guilty of anything, ever. Defendant simply raises their voice and shouts "I don't know nothin'". It is brilliant in it's simplicity.
Attorney: Where were you on the night of July 22nd, 2013?

Defendant: I plead The Hartman Defense.

Attorney: Please elaborate.

Defendant: I don't know nothin'!

Judge: (pounds gavel) Case dismissed.
by BUBBS January 17, 2014
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Goblin Defense

"The Goblin Defense" is a legal term popularized by the streamer / youtuber vash. This legal term is Used when someone is accused of being a pedophile such as vash, and his legal counter argument to it is. I thought they were short stacks Like how goblins are drawn in porn.
"The vibe that I got was like short stack thick Kind of thing you know what I mean uh Like the way uh like goblins get drawn in porn" aka the Goblin Defense
by Thelegalturkey February 12, 2024
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Defensive Burning Bones

Sun Tsugoku | Tomjiro
I just rushed this nigga and he Defensive Burning Bonesd me
by thisuernameisunavailable March 13, 2023
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the brian defense

a defensive strategy implemented in NHL '10 that involves playing all players back in order to avoid a skunking (aka mercy).
Matt scored 3 goals in the first 30 seconds. Jared then employed the brian defense and lost the game 3-0.
by killa Brand v3 February 01, 2010
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Defense mother

A mother with using excessive force as defense for a child
That defense mother shot that guy for molesting their child
by Dove of love July 01, 2016
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The 'I have kids' defense

The ultimate trump card. When you're down and out it's the last defense you have against people trying to justify your repositioning in society.
Hym "A prime example of the 'I have kids' defense is KRISTI NOEM. In her interview after it was revealed that she shot her own dog, she DESPERATELY tried to employ this defense before being shoved out of the spotlight. 'I'm a mother! I wanna go upies! Not downies! Nooooooooooo!' Heheheheh... And a more recent example is Andrew Tate's interview after getting out recently. 'I have kids! I'm supposed to be able to do whatever I want! Anything and everything is justifiable when you have kids!' Ha! It's ALWAYS THE CASE! He stole? He had to steal for the kids! Why does policy need to change? The kids? Why did we bomb those kids? The kids of course. But your kids are just you. Nothing changed when you had them. Maybe, socially, you moved into the class of people that other people have to give a shit about by way of extension. That's not real a change though. Your kids = You. Their inflated value exists only in relationship to you. Saying 'MY kids are more important than anything' is no different that saying 'I'm more important than anything.' You. Same thing."
by Hym Iam August 24, 2024
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Fort Knox defensive

When someone gets so defensive, it’s like trying to break into Fort Knox, just ain’t gonna break through to them.
Me: “Damn you really gonna put ketchup on macaroni and cheese??”
Them: “Yeah, and you’d know better if you had some taste!”
Me: “DAMN, you don’t have to get Fort Knox defensive on me…”
by na-meme42 April 22, 2024
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