couch hooker

a partner that is so lazy,so irresponsible that you have to LITERALLY pay them to get up off your couch.

i heard lisa had a new boyfriend.... yes, but he's a couch hooker, she has to pay him to get up when she gets home from work....ah,bummer.

by karmagirlbme April 11, 2010

couch professor

Someone who comments on the internet or social media posts from the couch. Typically commenting on topics they have no formal education or experience in the topic's field. Look on Facebook for post with over 50 comments for best examples of couch professors.

This 15 year old couch professor is telling how i should set up my race car.

Damn couch professors think they know so much about climate change and poiltics.

by Ping207 August 9, 2017

Zack's Couch

Laying on the couch in a sideways position while your partner is sitting legs up in your junk.

Are you telling me he did the Zack's Couch?

by Womanizer81 June 20, 2010

Couch kitten

Type of long term sugar baby that uses you for money and security with a pleasant demeanor, but we all know cats will stray and strike. This breed of sugar baby is known to be lazy on the couch, can’t raise her children, and accepts her place in the universe. This type of woman is typically found in Arkansas in the midwestern region. She is a form of succubus that drains your money, breaks your heart, and crushes your balls.

Why have a one night stand when you could have a couch kitten all summer long.

by Insect2 October 5, 2018

in da couch

Being very high/baked.

"Man, last night I was in da couch."

by bacmm January 20, 2018

couch porntato

Someone who spends most of their time laying on the couch masterbaiting to pornography.

I tried to get John to come to game but he said no of course. He’s such a couch porntato!!

by Tcan73 October 9, 2018

Cum Couch

A couch or sofa soiled by numerous ejaculations.

Hold up, don't sit on that cum couch unless you want to get pregnant.

by Crazy Breezy July 27, 2021