Jesus

Slang
hay-SUS/JeSUS
1. Fruity, Gay
Used against people named jesus or jesús

Jesus: Hey lets snuggle bro
Jim: Mannn your acting hella jeSUS

by SunRoseGiggles March 9, 2022

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Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.

"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"

by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024

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Jesus

A guy who will act like they love you but break your heart.

"Jesus cheated on me again*

by mayay February 4, 2024

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Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.

I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled

by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024

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Jesus

The son of God according to the Christian Faith. He is charitable, kind and loves everyone, even minorities, despite what "Christians" may say. It has been claimed that he died and resurrected, though this has been unproven. Notably, on May 31st 2025, he was reborn as a Furry Femboy identical in appearance to the fictional character Reggie The Rat made by Whygena.

Person 1: THE HELL DO YOU MEAN JESUS GOT REBORN AS A FURRY FEMBOY WHAT THE FUCK
Person 2: I can't tell if this is blasphemy or not due to it being true.
Person 3: this is the funniest shit ever oh my god

by Silly Billy, unintelligent June 2, 2025

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