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Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
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Jesus

A guy the church has made look like a superhero to sell people their agenda. What if Jesus was a short fat guy who had dark, curly, bushy hair and olive skin? A guy that looked more like what people think Friar tuck would look like than what Robin hood would look like, except a little bit more Mediterranean on the surface.
There are fair skinned European looking Jews now, after thousands of years of living in Europe, but back in the time of Jesus, a Jew from a part of Asia bordering the Mediterranean was unlikely to look like what the Church described him as, if he was ever a real person and not a myth.
by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Creepy Jesus

The demon of Jesus who lurks in your hallways at night 😈
CREEPY JESUS IS GONNA GET ME
by JesusLover2028 August 29, 2022
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Jesus Christ the Nazarene

person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023
mugGet the Jesus Christ the Nazarenemug.

Pretty Women Love Jesus

PWLJ is an abbreviation for Pretty Women Love Jesus and can be used when one female believer agrees with another
The gorgeous girl over there agrees with my statement. She is very pretty, pretty women love Jesus
by vcxa May 12, 2021
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Jesus

Guy 1: I can’t change :(
Guy 2: Jesus can change you💅
by CurlyFri December 1, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

God Jesus

Saying God Jesus backwards, sounds like Sausage Dog. suseJ doG.
God Jesus sure sounds like Sausage dog, when you say it backwards.
by liveforgiving May 17, 2021
mugGet the God Jesusmug.

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