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Russian Roulette Theorem

A theorem about risk-taking calculus and gambling. It states that if the probability of a loss is less than 1/6, then it is convenient to gamble and not prepare for the worst-case scenario. This theorem is demonstrated by the common use of Russian roulette, which gambles everything on a 1/6 chance of winning something which is obviously less valuable than life therefore any application of this theorem is valid.
Ludovico: Man, the teacher might test me in chemistry tomorrow.
Eduard: Oral or written?
Ludovico: Oral.
Eduard: How many people are getting tested?
Ludovico: 2 out of 13.
Eduard: Then you should gamble on it, because of the Russian Roulette Theorem.
Ludovico: Sexy
by Darth kugor February 6, 2026
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Morris's Theorem

Every single, solitary, girl -- no exceptions -- looks better with longer hair than shorter hair.
I thought this girl was bad, but then I remembered Morris's Theorem and thought about how she's wasting her potential.
by Jimmy Cooks 17 February 11, 2025
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1.5 inch theorem

Jar can have an 8 inch dick on good day due to the 1.5 inch theorem.
by Truthman8inch December 7, 2025
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The VHS Theorem

VHS Theorem
aka The Downward-Value Utility Arbitrage Principle
/vee-aitch-es thee-uh-ruhm/

Definition:
A consumer hack for maximum lifestyle value on a pauper budget. The VHS Theorem states: when something’s cultural clout collapses faster than its functionality, its utility-per-dollar skyrockets. In plain English: if it still works but nobody wants it, it’s basically magic.

Mechanics:

Cultural Abandonment – everyone chases the new shiny thing.

Functional Persistence – the old stuff still works fine.

Depression Pricing – sellers panic-sell at rock-bottom prices.

Utility Extraction – you live like a sultan on a scratch-off budget.

Examples:
VHS tapes, DVDs, old game consoles, CRT TVs, secondhand instruments, cast iron, estate sale gold — basically anything that fell out of fashion but still functions.

When culture abandons it, the wise inherit it.
Picked up 50 VHS tapes for $20 and watched classics all weekend. Totally The VHS Theorem at work, my man!"
by NakedEdmund December 17, 2025
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