Jesus

1. An awesome person who sacrificed himself for us, so all you people giving stupid definitions, seriously SHUT UP!! Jesus will forgive you, though.

1. Jesus, who is in fact one of the koolest people i know, well i dont KNOW him, but he's kool.

by Christian May 13, 2005

jesus

A short bald African-American guy that hides in the closet and watches me and my wife doing it. We like to pretend he's not there, but it's kinda hard 'cause you can hear him muttering stuff under his breath (while probably touching himself).

Wife- You wanna make love,
Husband- No, I think Jesus will be watching us.
W- Jesus is always watching us. He is everywhere. The Bible says so.
H- Not that Jesus, the one in our closet.

by J-to the Dizzle January 19, 2019

jesus

Jesus is God. His name is Kim SeokJin. Only jesus is lejindary.

I worship only Jesus - "IM THE ONE I SHOULD LUB IN THIS WORLD"

by ibelieveyourgalaxy February 17, 2019

Jesus

He was God in a human form. He came to earth to recieve the punishment that everybody else deserved. He did so, and anybody who recieves the sacrifice is a Christian.

Many non-Christians hate him because he asks for some submission in return.

Guy:Do you know Jesus?
Guy2:I know of Jesus
Guy:What do you think of Jesus?
Guy2:He was an idiot
Guy:Why?
Guy2:Because he asks for obedience, just because he died on some tree.

by Noogahoogah October 3, 2009

Jesus

Quite simply He is the Messiah referred to by various cultures everywhere. He gave a new message of mercy and forgiveness. He had a very hard time selling these ideas. He still does. He performed many miracles in order to glorify God and His greatness. He's been given a bad rep by hypochristians, fanatics and other zealots who do evil things in His Name. All religions have their fanatics and Christianity (the worship of Jesus as the Son of God) is no different. Some atheists claim that Jesus never existed. Maybe some people don't think He is the Son of God, but for someone who doesn't exist He has made a tremendous impact on history and culture. Also, fairy tales generally don't last for over 2000 years. Besides, I'm not a Buddhist but there's no doubt that Siddhartha Gautama Buddha lived and died over 25 centuries ago.

Teleevangelists give Jesus a very bad name.

by I Saw U2 Live Twice December 25, 2008

jesus

some dude who might have lived a long time ago. he tried to spread peace but ignorant people decided the need to make him god so they don't have to come to terms with their own mortality.

Guy 1:When I die ill go to heaven! cuz of jesus.
Rational human: Your an idiot.

by saintdisgustus November 25, 2007

Jesus!

An explanation usually said very fast and loud at a scary part in a movie.

In The Dark Knight, when the dead fake Batman hits the glass
JESUS!

by behereyes December 18, 2008