weird handjob

I am the one who invented this phrase. It is where you squeeze the dick up and down, over and over.
See when a man has a discusting/unsercumsized dick, you dont really want to touch it.
You try to go up and down but the skin follows your hand.
So you squeeze the sucker.
Corii was hooking up with a hott man. Little did she know that he had a fucked up dick. The weird handjob was invented
by RichardRich August 12, 2008
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Hot Tortilla Handjob

a jerkity jerk with a hot, buttered tortilla
The tortilla lady at CHuys looks like she gives a mean, "Hot Tortilla Handjob"
by Dutch Rudders Revenger November 01, 2010
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Hot pocket handjob

The act of somone recieving a handjob from a third party but the third party is using a hot pocket
Sarah gave me the best Hot pocket handjob of my life man, she even ate the hot pocket
by Checkeredbackpack September 19, 2013
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welsh handjob

Kevin hails from Wales, and he is an expert at giving Welsh handjobs.
by wandon December 13, 2009
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yogapants handjob

When one recieves a sexual act of the hand job while wearing pants!
Thad: Yo Fred i just got a yogapants handjob from my girl

Fred: Damn, she got a nice ass too
by youngthese March 25, 2014
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Quantum Handjob Mechanics

Also known as Quantum Handjob Theory, Quantum Handjob Mechanics is a branch of physics providing a mathematical description of the dual particle-like and wave-like behavior and interaction of the hand and penis.
Quantum Handjob Mechanics describes the time evolution of physical systems via a mathematical structure called the Cum Function. The Cum Function encapsulates the probability that an orgasm is to be reached in a given state at a given time.

Quantum Handjob Mechanics is closely intertwined with the Hymenberg Uncertainty Principle, which relates the fundamental principle that it is impossible to simultaneously measure the present proximity to an orgasm while "determining" the future momentum of a subsequent orgasm with an arbitrary degree of accuracy and certainty.
"Dude, I'm failing Naughty Physics."
"Why?"
"I just can't figure out these equations for Quantum Handjob Mechanics. I'm going to fail that test on three dimensional cum functions..."
by Dzzo August 06, 2011
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Handjob from Hell

When a woman gets overly aggresive when trying to get her guy hard and doesn't get a response.

Rather than slow down or stop, she'll increase speed, to the point, were you feel she's about to yank your manhood off and or break your banjo.
Last night I was with my girlfriend, I was tired, drunk and it was cold, and her handjob technique was shit.

So instead of stopping, she gave me the handjob from hell.

The only pleasure I got was when she stopped
by Habib Butt February 21, 2011
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