cumputer

a computer that fckg cums every time you touch it

awn man my cumputer just cummed

by invisablez November 3, 2019

cumpire

a vampire who sparkles in the sun, rather than turning to ash.

Guy 1: dude, did you hear about that movie twilight?
Guy 2: no, what's it about?

Guy 1: a buncha vampires who play baseball and sparkle in the sun.
Guy 2: fuckin cumpires.

by Dick Ballderass August 18, 2010

Cumpets

That thing where you ejaculate into a sock and then use it as a hand puppet.

Hey stepbro can you show me your cumpets?

by Deer cumpets February 9, 2021

cumpis brew

When you take a big festering shit, a cabbage-sour piss stream of urine, and a gooey wad of nasty man juice, stir it all up in a wine barrel, and pour it all over a girl's face.

I was feeling so horny and nasty last night that I whipped up a big 'ole batch of cumpis brew and splattered it all over my Puerto Rican honey girl.

by Mojito Man August 8, 2006

cumplosion

A cumplosion is an explosive cumshot.

Matt jacked me off and I had a cumplosion!

by USAF Cadet August 21, 2021

Cumpadre

A very effective fuck buddy/fwb/casual partner who always assures mutual orgasms during sexual encounters.

Kayla and George weren’t dating but had a history of being CUMPADRES with the ability to always climax with each other. They understood sharing is caring.

by TreyANDEmily July 20, 2021

Cumpster

A mouth that never closes, or is characterized by the nonsense that spews from it...a mouth deserving a huge, sticky load.

Shut your cumpster, you fuckwit.

by Lollocaust December 3, 2007