Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.

"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"

by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

Jesus

Our savior

Jesus is our savior!
In God we trust.

by MunchbunchLunch March 14, 2023

jesus-legal

another way of saying you are 33 years old

It was Dans' birthday yesterday, he is now Jesus-legal

by Entity1002 March 1, 2022

Jesus

either capital God as the son of man, or a historical figure that was a good man

Jesus had succeeded in saving our souls but he had failed in staying alive due to his many haters, even as a powerful figure he could not survive

by nonekopopo February 17, 2023

Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now

This is one of the stupidest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. Like seriously who. the fuck cares. 1991 sucked ass. The 90s were really degrading. Apart from some of the music but it was a pretty horrible decade.

Whoever wrote “Jesus Jones - Right Here Right Now” should be shot

by WorseThanHitler November 18, 2020

jesus (BUNNINGS)

Bunnings Jesus is Australia's Jesus christ. Think Jesus but he smokes cones, darts(cigarettes), drinks, and blesses gavos by appearing in all his Bunnings glory

Jesus (Bunnings) smokes cones

by coop-meme January 6, 2021