The patron saint of drug dealers.
by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017
Get the St. Jesus Malverdemug. God’s right hand man and son. He is a handsome, kind , caring , and a strong lover boy. He also has a heart of a lion and a hard working man providing for his family and friends. Always makes his friends his number 1 priority. He will also make sure that you’re okay and doing well throughout the day. Though his weaknesses are what makes him struggle, always falling in love at first sight and easily being attached to his lover. Girls never appreciate him but he soon makes them realize it’s their lost. He has the strongest dick game in the history of mankind so if you ever have one in your life, keep him.
Girl: Do you see that guy over there? He’s cute.
Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍
Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍
by Contrabando De lo Dioses November 23, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half
by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022
Get the jesusmug. Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
Get the The Ole Reverse Jesus Techniquemug. Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.
I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).
I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.
I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.
I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).
I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.
I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.
"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend
"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ
"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ
by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023
Get the Jesusmug. by GsxrBarbie May 29, 2018
Get the Jesus Christ Lizardmug. Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.
"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"
by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024
Get the Mach Jesusmug.